Quotes About Humor

My name, said Mr. Fresh. Pardon? Charlie stopped tying himself up. I dress in mint green because of my first name. It's Minty. Charlie completely forgot what he was worried about. Minty? Your name is Minty Fresh? Charlie appeared to be trying to stifle a sneeze, but then snorted an explosive laugh. Then ducked.

Die, thou badger-shagging spunk monkey, said I.

thou wretched pillar of syphilitic pheasant-fuck!

I accidentally shagged a monk last night." "Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.

I have followed my penis into hell and returned with the story.

The funeral was held at St. Mary's Catherdral of San Francisco, which has the distinction of being the only church in the world designed after a washing-machine agitator.

I want to be Moses." "You can't." "Why not?" "I have the stick." "Oh.

Let's bat that nun out of the dog park!

Ah, já entendi - disse eu. - É uma parábola. Que giro. Vamos comer.

I like big butts, Renoir explained to Toulouse-Lautrec.

What a bawdy bitch is fate when the best bit of a bloke's day is a brace of bloody mermaid murders.

Se decía: un trasero bien formado en el espacio no es más que un trasero bien formado, pero si le pones un trasero bien formado a una mujer tan ingeniosa como ella y le aplicas un poco de turbación lo que obtienes son… bueno, problemas.)

Megaptera novaeangliae («Grandes alas de Nueva Inglaterra», la había denominado cierto científico, demostrando de este modo que los científicos también beben)

You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.

so here, in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho.

So that's what you think you're going to do? Bring God to everyone?" "Yes. After a nap." "Of course, I meant after a nap.

Stop, I said. Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have a great hair, and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda.

It is generally agreed, and in fact stated in the bylaws of the American Kennel Club, that you have not been truly dog-humped until you have been double-dog-humped by a pair of four-hundred-pound hounds from hell

his consonants run together like anal beads strung from hell's own bunghole.

Who shit in your tuba?

Why, I'll bet my uncle Davey could take you out in the first round, ya macaroon.

La ironía puede ser espontánea, mientras que para el sarcasmo hace falta voluntad. El sarcasmo hay que crearlo.

Ma la smetteva o no di fare il difficile? «Senti, Darwin, stanotte i dinosauri non scopano di sicuro, Scegli con chi stare».

but all things considered, he could go a very long time not being run over by a Volvo again and feel just dandy about it. He