Quotes About Humor

y más pálido que la Muerte follándose un muñeco de nieve.

Minty? Your name is Minty Fresh?

Nobody's perfect…. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him. ANONYMOUS

If I live through this, she thought, I'm going to save a fortune on utilities.

I said," said Lear, "most pernicious monstress, perfect in her perfidy!" Kent mimed a set of generous bosoms on himself and raised an eyebrow as if to ask, "Boobs?" I shrugged as if to say, "Aye, boobs sounds right." "Aye, most pernicious perfidy indeed, sire," said I. "Aye, most bouncy and jiggling perfidy,"3 said Kent.

It would just be fitting that the only man who would deign to talk to me is a hat-shagging monkey." She leaned in closely. "You, sir, have the look of a hat shagger.

Strum one chord on that thing, you bellowing cow, and I will beat you to death with it and dismember your corpse with the strings.

I live in Chinatown," said Charlie, and although that was technically kinda-sorta true, he knew how to say exactly three things in Mandarin: Good day; light starch, please; and I am an ignorant white devil, all taught to him by Mrs. Ling. He believed the last to translate to "top of the morning to you.

I'm Asian." She wasn't Asian, but there would be a metric fuckload of Asian girls on the bridge for him to think were her. "Ten minutes. Don't jump, okay?

Relájate, no puede comérselo. Ni siquiera tiene dientes. Y, además, no hay ningún Teletubby gimiendo de placer al otro lado. Ay, Dios, voy a necesitar un buen trago de tequila para quitarme esa imagen dé la cabeza.

a chamomile chaser to Jane's vodka and sarcasm shooter.

Look, you mad tart, I have a covenant with God, which is: I don't mention that he has stocked the world full of villains, walleys, and madwomen, and in return he keeps his bloody hands off my willy.

You know why those guys with the bagpipes have daggers on their belts, right? So they can stab themselves in the fucking legs to take their minds off the music.

That won't work, isn't Special Forces where everyone gets a hug?" Charlie called. "That's the Special Olympics," Rivera said

the other three trumpeters having recently succumbed to herpes.

Resultó que a los cancerberos se les podía adiestrar, particularmente si solo se les decían cosas que iban a hacer de todos modos. («Come, Alvin. Buen chico. Ahora, haz caca. Excelente»).

Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him...." ? Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh. VOLTAIRE

And then again, maybe he could just climb a stream of angel piss to heaven.

soy un infiel descreído de Dios. Al menos, así voté en las últimas elecciones.

Whistler, Manet called. How's your mother?

Ich möchte ihn im Joch der Ehe sehen, allein schon, um ihn aus dem Bett meiner eigenen Frau fernzuhalten.

killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.

Sie kam im schlichten Morgenmantel zur Tür, mit zerzausten Haaren und dem ungenierten Gähnen eines Menschen, der sich gezwungenermaßen mit einem Geisteskranken auseinandersetzen muss, welcher unerklärlicherweise den Morgen als Beginn seines Tages betrachtet, statt – wie es rechtens wäre – als dessen Ende