Quotes About Humor

And then I see that the old vampyre is charred like Wile E. Coyote after a bad rocket shoes test.

She looked like she was being towed through the store by two submarines," said Simon. "Major hooters," said Troy Lee. "Major-league hooters." Tommy said, "Can't you guys see more in a woman than T and A?" "Nope," said Troy. "No way," said Simon.

To say that Effrom was not a particularly good cook was an understatement akin to saying that genocide is not a particularly effective public relations strategy.

The loft looked as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy-bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off.

Drool has sprouted an erection. Let's ask him what he's thinking about. Had his way with a knotted oak on the way here. A right spectacular tree-shagging it was, too. Knocked down enough acorns to feed the village for a week. They wanted to have a special feast day in honor of the git—declare him god of the tree-shag—more fertility symbols there than you can shake a stick at, innit?

And in retrospect, the flannel shirt may have been a mistake. He looked like he'd shown up at the sacrificial mass of the damned ready to fix the dishwasher.

Qué coño, seguro que hasta hay monjas de alguna orden dispuestas a echarte un polvo por simple caridad. O como acto de penitencia.

Tommy had been dealing with more than a few adjustments since he'd come west from his hometown of Incontinence, Indiana—not the least of which had been finding a girlfriend, who, while smart, sexy, and quick-witted, drank his blood and tended to fall unconscious at the exact moment of sunrise.

I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is closed.

Die Behauptung, daß Effrom nicht besonders gut kochen konnte, war eine Untertreibung von ähnlichem Kaliber wie die Feststellung, daß es sich bei Völkermord um eine nicht besonders erfolgversprechende PR-Strategie handele.

Avoid roasted cabbage, do not eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!

If he fancied her anymore,' Saphira said to both Eragon and Roran, 'I'd be trying to kiss Arya myself.' 'Saphira!' Mortified, Eragon swatted her on the leg.

He's acting as foolish as a kitten... but then, everyone's entitled to a little foolishness once in a while.

Eragon went to see the dragon for the first time since it had spoken to him. He approached apprehensively, aware now that it was an equal. Eragon. Is that all you can say? he snapped. Yes. His eyes widened at the unexpected reply, and he sat down roughly. Now it has a sense of humor. What next?

best of luck, avoid roasted cabbage, don't eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!

Don't eat earwax avoid roasted cabbage and look on the bright side of life -Angela

Eragon waited several minutes to be sure it was gone before he returned to clearing the rubble. Maybe i should just call myself Snail Vanquisher, he muttered as he rolled a section of a pillar across the courtyard. Eragon Shadeslayer, Vanquisher of Snails....I would strike fear into the hearts of men wherever I went.

Fate has a cruel sense of humor, don't you think?

fate has a cruel sense of humor

I suppose I won't see you for a while, so farewell, best of luck, avoid roasted cabbage, don't eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!

And remember to watch out for earwigs and wild hamsters. Ferocious things, wild hamsters.

Don't give thanks now," said Orik with a chuckle. "Wait until the armor saves your life.

It's not my fault my father had a habit of seducing milkmaids wherever he went.

It was naught but a flesh wound.