Quotes About Humor

Now, girls, if you want to observe a young man hustle out after a pick and shovel, just tell him that your heart is in some other fellow's grave. Young men are grave-robbers by nature.

The man recovered of the bite, The dog it was that died.

I guess God has a sense of humor, when he had a man that wanted to start his life as a priest, end up marrying a preacher.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

Men who retain irony are not to be trusted. They can't always resist an impulse to tickle themselves.

Make a man laugh a good hearty laugh, and you've paved the way for friendship. When a man laughs with you, he, to some extent, likes you.

Yeah, arrest that man on the crime of having 8 Chicken McNuggets stuck up his arse.

I'm a holy man minus the holiness.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!

An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten.

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."

A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.

The only thing wrong with marriage is that one of the persons involved is a man.

When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than what they think laughable.

With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever.

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.