Quotes About Humor

Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk

No man can be an agnostic who has a sense of humour.

I've always said, I like my coffee like I like my men... I don't drink coffee.

A man should have two wives: one to love and one to sew on his buttons.

It is important that man dreams, but it is perhaps equally important that he can laugh at his own dreams.

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

Life can make you do many things, even kiss a man with a runny nose.

A man who farts in bed . . . is a man who loves life.

The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

I'm 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?

There's many witty men whose brains can't fill their bellies.

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

I'm most proud of having created something that men never completely get.

Don't have a cow, man.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

The impromptu reply is precisely the touchstone of the man of wit.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

Be fond of the man who jests at his scars, if you like; but never believe he is being on the level with you.

I'll work with Jerry Seinfeld any day of the week. Get a nice little paycheck there, but you do it for free. It's just good to be associated with that man. He's a great guy.

Nobody ever lends money to a man with a sense of humor.

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.