Quotes About Humor

Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me. "You think I should slap some man into him?

Man" Rhage muttered, "someone hit this place with the Hallmark stick." Until it broke.

I wondered how a man ever got an English girl into bed. What did they do with her hockey stick?

There are three stages to a man's life. 1. He laughs at Clark Griswold. 2. He sympathizes deeply with Clark Griswold. 3. He laughs at Clark Griswold.

I vill destroy de snickers bar!" Gazzy(The Gas Man)

I've always been a clown trapped in a leading man's body.

In black comedic culture, there's always been a thing about "Man, I ain't gotta wear a dress to be funny!" But I've done it.

I'm a sucker for a man who giggles-not a high-pitched serial-killer sort of giggle, but a lighthearted laugh.

The wisest and the best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.

Mercy is the mark of a great man! (stabs defeated opponent) I guess I'm just a good man. (stabs opponent again) Well ... I'm alright.

I was a straight man long before I knew what it was called. I was just the boring one.

There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up!

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

Charles, mate, you fret too much. I'm a grown man, I am, and I can blood my handle." "Handle your blood?" Bones offered dryly. Ian grinned. "Exactly.

Don't send a man to the grocery store.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

To be my man, you have to put up with a lot. I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABCs.

Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card.

My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

There are a lot of good looking men on this planet. It seems like once a week someone will tell me, "I know someone who looks like you" and I don't know what say to them except, "Tell them hi."

Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.

This week, a 95-year-old woman married a 98-year-old man to become the world's oldest newlyweds. They're registered at Bed, Sponge Bath and Beyond.

Hillary Clinton said that Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is engaged in 'theater.' Which explains the new strategy to defeat him: casting him as the lead in 'Spider-Man: the Musical.'

I like men. They are hugely entertaining, but they have a lot of shortcomings and you just have to bear those in mind.