Quotes About Humor

Mom, thanks for letting me drop out of high school. Haha!

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.

My parents know I was outgoing as a child, and whenever people came over I'd automatically do impressions of them as soon as they left; it was my mom's favorite thing.

My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment.

I'm lucky that my real-life Mom has both a great sense of humor about herself and an amazing ability to slip into complete denial if the subject matter gets a little too close to home.

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

Being a Hot Mom means being respected as a mom and a woman. And, the key to being a Hot Mom is having a sense of humor about yourself and all the crazy situations that arise.

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this? Calvin:...I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

My mom always puts a grapefruit in my stocking. I like grapefruit, but why put it in a stocking like it's a gift? It's almost as bad as coal.

My dad has never actually grounded me. He always tells my mom to do it. He tells her, "Miley was so bad today, you need to ground her.

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great-but how to laugh through it.

I say 'Mom, how come you don't change into an evening gown for dinner?' She says 'I do, it's called a bath robe. [...]

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

My mom and dad just loved the fact that I fooled around. They just embraced it. They'd always kind of enjoy it, and they liked it when I made them laugh

My mom drove like Britney Spears with the steering wheel and me right here [in her lap]. I'm fine, I turned out okay.

I've learned from people, being in the weird situations that I get in. Like, dressed as my mom kissing Seth Rogen - that's a thing that happened.

My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic.

Claire: Seriously? My mom? Let you in my room? In the middle of the night? Michael: Moms like me.

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured who were they going to tell.

My mom calls me 'baby face.' It's very embarrassing.

I drive well! Says who your mom? No actually, she won't even get in the car with me.