Quotes About Humor

If all else fails, the character of a man can be recognized by nothing so surely as by a jest which he takes badly.

In general satire, every man perceives A slight attack, yet neither fears nor grieves.

You're not going to find a man whose socks don't get dirty or who doesn't snore.

Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

Women mostly remember the men who made them laugh, and men - only the women who made them cry.

My father was the funniest man I ever met. He made Redd Foxx look like an undertaker.

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour: he will always use it in evidence against you.

The world is a funny paper read backwards. And that way it isn't so funny.

A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

Tereasa petrovich

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma.

Most cowgirls are natural storytellers, their art honed by years of practice. . . . It serves as entertainment; it also preserves the humor and value of a unique way of life.

Don't U want someone to complete you the way Mini-Me completed Dr. Evil? Someone who shares the same tastes in music food who will finish … my sentences? The last thing I need is someone stealing the punch lines to all my jokes.

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Noses run. Feet smell.

Why is it that a man with hair on his head has more hair than a man with hairs on his head?

I refused David Letterman's proposal of marriage for obvious reasons, but thanks for asking.

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor.

Sometimes the only way to make palatable that which is appalling and apprehensive is to season it with some humor.

Courtship? Had I said courtship ? What did I think, that this was Jane freakin' Eyre?

Devils can be quite comical little animals, intense and wild. The Looney Tunes cartoon character "Taz" is an exaggeration, of course, because devils only spin like Taz if they're kept too confined.

All of a sudden he stripped off his wet suit. It was winter and quite cold. "What are you doing?" I called out. He stood in the icy water. "This is how dedicated I am to having a boy baby," he said, with a mischievous grin. I said, "I think you're just supposed to keep them cool, not actually freeze them off." He laughed.