Quotes About Humor

A few days earlier, as Steve stepped off a dinghy, his boot had gotten tangled in a rope. "Watch out for that rope," I said. He shot me a look that said, I've just caught forty-nine crocodiles in three weeks, and you're thinking I'm going to fall over a rope? I laughed sheepishly. It seemed absurd to caution Steve about being careful.

I want this boat's primary function to be crocodile research and rescue work," Steve said. "So I'm going to name her Croc One. " "Why don't we call it For Sale instead?" I suggested. I'm not sure Steve saw the humor in that. Croc One was his baby.

You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain.

You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give em? Humor. And if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot 's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain.

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

If the Holy Bible was printed as an Ace Double it would be cut down to two 20,000-word halves with the Old Testament retitled as 'Master of Chaos' and the New Testament as 'The Thing With Three Souls.

He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.

Old people poke me at weddings and tell me "your next" So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Why were kings cross? Maybe their trains were late! Some say warrior Queen Boudica was buried under platform 8.

I want this on my tombstone: Here lies Terry Gilliam--RIP--'He giggled in awe.

Now I know why they tell you to put your head between your knees on crash landings. You think you're going to kiss your ass good-bye.

I promise I won't eat you. Unless you die. If you die I'm going to eat you.

So far on my 30-day diet, I lost 18 days.

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

I've read better fecal matter patterns on toilet paper.

They say there is a fine line between genius & insanity....so I picked it up & went fishing

I had mixed feelings, like watching your Mother in Law drive over a cliff in your car.

But there's no doubt that children have an innate sense of humor. No matter how young they are, they always know when something's really funny.

And then again, I am no longer quite such a good-looking young fellow that tapestries leap off the wall in my honour.

Humor the sons of the poor, for they give science its splendor.

There is laughter because there is nothing to laugh at.

As the Habsburg military used to say, the situation is catastrophic, but not serious.

Only a man with a heart of stone could read of the death of Little Nell without laughing.' Oscar Wilde