Quotes About Humor

a thing isn't much good if it can't stand being made fun of.

Silence will not betray your thoughts but the expression on your face will. Humor has a hundred faces tragedy only a few.

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.

Cynicism is humor in ill health.

The crisis of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow.

Anyhow, the hole in the doughnut is at least digestible.

Wealth — any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. Steven Wright

Alan Turing once whimsically proposed a number N, defined as "the odds against a piece of chalk leaping across the room and writing a line of Shakespeare on the board."?

When Harry had held it, it had shat in his hand.

He was polishing the glass with a dead hen.

I freely admit that I have many times adopted Jim Oakley's precept of a "bloody good gallop," often with spectacular results. To this day I frequently learn things from farmers, but that was one time when I learned from a postman.

Siegfried once told me he had spent half a morning trying to stuff a uterus up a cow's rectum. What really worried him, he said, was that he nearly succeeded)

James Herriot

I pulled a packet of Cold Flake from my pocket. "Cliff, you're a marvel. Will you have a cigarette?" "It 'ud be like givin' a pig a strawberry," the little man replied

What I didn't notice was that the passenger seat was not fixed to the floor but stood freely on its sledge-like runners. I dropped into it and went over backwards, finishing with my head on the rear seat and my feet against the roof. Farnon helped me up, apologising with great charm, and we set off. Once

He loved the stuff. But unfortunately he couldn't say "Propamidine." In fact nobody on the entire establishment could say it except Charlie the farm foreman and he only thought he could say it. He called it "Propopamide" but his lordship had the utmost faith in him.

hold of a cow's nose for me he would say solemnly

Finally they got me in, half lying across the back seat. My face was pressed against the side window and from the outside it must have been a grotesque sight with the nose squashed sideways and a solitary dead-mackerel eye staring sightlessly into the night.

James Herriot

I thought I heard you—one of you—saying it was a pity—umph—a pity I never had—any children … eh? … But I have, you know … I have …" The others smiled without answering, and after a pause Chips began a faint and palpitating chuckle. "Yes—umph—I have," he added, with quavering merriment. "Thousands of 'em … thousands of 'em… and all boys.

I thought I heard you—one of you—saying it was a pity —umph—a pity I never had—any children... eh?... But I have, you know... I have... The others smiled without answering, and after a pause Chips began a faint and palpitating chuckle. Yes—umph—I have, he added, with quavering merriment. Thousands of 'em... thousands of 'em... and all boys.

Touchy, no sense of humor, no sense of proportion—that was the matter with them, these new fellows... No sense of proportion. And it was a sense of proportion, above all things, that Brookfield ought to teach

Sometimes I just want to paint the words You're right dear. across my forehead to save Wife the time of saying I told you so...