Quotes About Humor

Actually now I'm remembering that the goodbye chow isn't spelled that way. It's ciao or something weird like that. It's Italian, right? But I'm not an Italian gypsy, I'm a hungry gypsy. So spelling it chow makes total sense.)

It's funny to hear priests and nuns argue with each other.

He was a humorous, good-natured man, maybe because he hoped for little and expected less and took his satisfactions where he found them.

A three-year diet of rubber chicken and occasional crow.

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.

A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.

He who hath not a dram of folly in his mixture hath pounds of much worse matter in his composition.

Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.

The teller of a mirthful tale has latitude allowed him. We are content with less than absolute truth.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

On a beautiful day like this it would be best to stay in bed so you wouldn't get up and spoil it!

Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

Beauty tips. How to look younger: Don't be born so soon.

I wonder if there's such a thing as a spiritual dentist? I think my whole personality is full of cavities!

Empty?! You took all the cookies!" "They were crying to get out of the jar... Cookies get claustrophobia too, you know!

The world is filled with unmarried marriage counselors.

Your stupidity is appalling!" "Most stupidity is!

My mind reels with sarcastic replies!

Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!" "What were you expecting?" "Real estate!

Why me, lord? Don't answer that!

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind.