Quotes About Humor

You're going out in those? Mrs. Yetner's parting shot was a zinger—a gibe masquerading as an innocent question. Evie would have bristled had it come from her own mother. But she loved it coming from Mrs. Yetner. She gave her startled neighbor a quick hug

I was a huge fan of comedy and movies and TV growing up, and I was able to memorize and mimic a lot of things, not realizing that that meant I probably wanted to be an actor. I just really, really amused myself and my friends with memorizing entire George Carlin or Steve Martin albums.

You can't be funny for funny's sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do.

Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you burn yourself out.

Don't take life TOO serious you can't get out alive anyhow.

No matter how I struggle and strive, I'll never get out of this world alive.

When he raised his head to look at her, she smiled at him. "Ye purred," she said, "just like a big tomcat." She laughed softly at the way he scowled at her despite the laughter brightening his eyes. "It wasnae a purr," he said. "It was a verra monly growl." Bridget

Happy Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass.

Happy If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Shoter magavin I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast. Happy Gilmore you eat pieces of shit for breakfast.

Take it from me, wrinkle cream doesn't work. I've been using it for two years, and my balls still look like raisins.

They say when you die there's a light at the end of the tunnel. When my father dies, he'll see the light, make his way toward it, and then flip it off to save electricity.

Lafayette was a splendid man...with a marvelous, self-depreciating sense of humor. He was, for example, balding noticeably when he reached an Indian outpost...and he calmed his wife's anxieties by noting that "I cannot lose what I do not have.

if i had to describe myself i would say that i was am a cross between Jack Parr aNd MicheaL J. fox.

Looking to advance in journalism, one future editor displayed skilled as varied as economic analysis and humorous commentary.

Lincoln said his spiky hair had "a way of getting up in the world".

When you lead a life of scholarship you can't be bothered with the humorous realities, you know, tits, that kind of thing.

I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.

Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny.

Honk, honk!

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

Some jokes are less agreeable than others

Somewhat mollified by certain cups of very good coffee, he came out smiling and talking, in tolerably restored humor.

You laugh!" said the trader, with a growl. "Lord bless you, Mas'r, I couldn't help it now," said Sam, giving way to the long pent-up delight of his soul. "She looked so curi's, a leapin' and springin' — ice a crackin' — and only to hear her, — plump! ker chunk! ker splash! Spring! Lord! how she goes it!" and Sam and Andy laughed till the tears rolled down their cheeks.