Quotes About Humor

I'll simply say here that I was born Beatrice Gladys Lillie at an extremely tender age because my mother needed a fourth at meals.

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.

Amazing Donald Trump, your age and IQ are the same.

You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

It is so comic to hear oneself called old, even at ninety I suppose!

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh

At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.

At my age, I dont even buy green bananas.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'

There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.

The comedy of each age holds up a mirror to the people of that age, a mirror that is unique.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.

114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.

Doesn't seem quite real. It's not meaningful. I can't quite imagine myself being 73. That's the age my father was! [Laughter.] How can I be his age? It's weird.

A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.

If you Americans aren't from the stone age then explain to me how your president is a ****ing pterodactyl

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.

You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.