Quotes About Humor

One never needs their humor as much as when they argue with a fool.

One never needs their humor as much a when they argue with a fool

Our three-ring binders won't change a thing. But a little humor and humanity might. December

Nigerians are everywhere. There's an old joke, particularly about the Ibos, that when you finally land on Mars, you're going to find a Nigerian there who has a shop that is selling Coca-Cola--who took a speculative trip 20 years ago and has been waiting for everyone else to arrive.

You know, you are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

I'm basically the healthiest fat guy you've ever seen.

and I laughed and laughed and laughed until the sound of the sea was drowned.

Mary leaned back, exhaled, and watched her smoke rise. 'What sort of man do you want anyway?' "Tall. Funny. Never came top of his class or pulled the wings off bees." "Yes, but I mean really? When all of this is over, and assuming we win -" ... Hilda snorted. "(I) just want a tall man and a stiff drink. You could even swap the adjectives.

I like a very dry wit, not the big kind of humor like Robin Williams. I don't think I'm capable of that.

You can interact with a refrigerator: open the door and the light inside turns on. Close the door and the little light goes off. But how many people do you see standing in front of their refrigerators, opening and closing the doors, laughing?

Comedy is tragedy standing on its head with its pants down.

Man with Brain the Size of Tic Tac Mates with Amoeba Couple gives birth to giant adjusto; names him Dale

Clinical trials have proven that projectile vomiting is up to FOUR times more efficient than ordinary vomiting. You don't even have to run to the bathroom! With practice, and careful placement of your chair within thirty feet--and line of sight--of your bathroom, you can project your lunch from the comfort of your armchair.

This sounded to me like a three-cocktail problem and there I was without so much as an olive!

And he didn't draw dog turds in the house style either. He drew the flies circling above too big, and gave them wings. Me, I preferred a few tiny little dots above a turd. That made it look less disgusting, but smellier at the same time.

I think I'm speaking for every husband when I saw that women's fashion really should incorporate more junk food. Ladies, dangle a nice cheese blintz around your neck, then see if your love life doesn't just take off.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.'—Groucho Marx.

What gets wetter the more it dries?

If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Haley remembered another bit of Irish wisdom, something her dad said all the time: "Never bolt your door with a boiled carrot!" She

art Sir William of Goat?

But why does your uncle need all these books? Is he some kind of squirrel nut?" Andrew laughed. "Touché, Kyle. Very clever." Sierra laughed, too. "I get it. Squirrel—nut." "And Uncle Woody was squirreling away all the squirrel books he could!

Mr. Ball came through the front doors wrapped in a dull gray parka that made him look like a quilted pork sausage. He stomped snow off his rubber boots; shook it off his pant cuffs. Then he wiggle-waggled the large pair of tan hiking boots he held in his hand.

We are merry people," added Hercules. "We rob from the rich and pour it on the floor." "No," said Robin. "We rob from the rich and give to the poor." Hercules nodded. "Right. Got it. Sorry.