Quotes About Humor

AidanIsAPoopyHead.

Walter the Farting Dog." The six geese spun around and farted, their tail feathers flipping up in sync with the noisy blasts. "Excellent. End story time." The geese slumped

including a bag of Pirate's Booty cheese puffs, which made the three friends laugh.

Maybe some Spam or SpaghettiOs?

MATH: THE ONLY PLACE WHERE PEOPLE CAN BUY 87 WATERMELONS AND NOBODY WONDERS WHY.

CHRIS GRABENSTEIN is the coauthor (with James Patterson) of the number one New York Times bestseller I Funny.

Poked a juggling bear in the belly. Tried to toggle Tiny Tim's crutch sideways.

He laughs. 'And then I was in between dreaming and waking up this morning, and I said to Ayda, "What have I got in common with a scarecrow?" She went, "What?" And I said, "I'm outstanding in my field.

If there is anything I've learned being the mother of many children, it's that you'd better laugh at yourself, because everyone else already is.

Humour is the courtesy of despair

I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality people have to sympathise with you to find you funny.

Oh. Momma told me not to tell you that your bed squeaks. But I think you know, 'cause I could hear it this morning. Jake dropped his fork. Tor, for the first time Jake had ever seen, turned scarlet. Maureen looked at them both and sighed. Christmas is always so interesting with you, Mark.

I do like dating cynics - they tend to be incredibly funny.

I had a nose tickle.

Everything is improved by the judicious application of primates.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.'

No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, "Hey, man, women are crazy," you've got a friend.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else.

If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.

You know what a platonic friend is to a woman? It's like a dick in a glass case. In case of emergency break open glass.