Quotes About Humor

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

All really frank people are amusing, and would remain so if they could remember that other people may sometimes want to be frank and amusing too.

I'm more interested in plot than theme, but I hope my values find their way into my stories: kindness, sympathy, effort, and humor!

How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children

I'd rather go ice fishing, which is the dumbest thing a man can do. You're sitting essentially in an out house and it's 30 below. You've cut a hole in the ice, and you're fishing for fish that you shouldn't eat, 'cause any fish that is down there is f***ing stupid.

Dick Cheney ... and that's all I gotta say. Isn't it great that we've reached that point? You don't even have to say "Dick Cheney, the Vice President who shot his friend in the face while hunting". "Dick Cheney", everybody goes "Waha!" and we move on.

I was home alone watching George Bush speak on television. So it was just really the two of us. And as I listened to him, I realized, that one of us ... was nuts! And for the first time ever, I went "Wow, it's not me!"

Humor is how we find comfort in the totally illogical, for it is the bridge back to the logical.

The regular course was Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with; and then the different branches of Arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.

He thought he saw an AlbatrossThat fluttered round the lamp:He looked again, and found it wasA penny postage stamp."You'd best be getting home," he said,"The nights are very damp."

He thought he saw an Elephant,That practiced on a fife:He looked again, and found it wasA letter from his wife."At length I realize," he said,"The bitterness of Life!"

Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it.

Naked means you don't have on clothes. Necked means you don't have on clothes and are up to something.

Better to operate with detachment, then; better to have a way but infuse it with a little humor; best, to have no way at all but to have instead the wit constantly to make one's way anew from the materials at hand.

Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them.

If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.

Mr. Raney named the porpoises - Sister Woman, and Renford, and Lamar, and St. Elmo - and could recognize them, and call each by its name, even at night, six feet long, some of them, with a million sharp teeth and a naughty grin. Often when he floated past in the boat and watched their playful wheeling, in and out among the cypress knees, he called out to them, "Lamar, we are all alone in the world!" or "Renford, cork is an export product of India!

There are two insults which no human being will endure: The assertion that he hasn't a sense of humor, and the doubly impertinent assertion that he has never known trouble.

I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it.

I'd say I'm the opposite of someone that has the urge to stand in front of strangers and make them laugh, but the idea of getting up and telling a story and people finding it amusing always appealed to me.

Comedy chose me. I always had this urge to be silly that I couldn't control. I remember my father having me read 'The Three Little Pigs' to him, and I would improv all around the story, like when one pig's house got blown over, he put on his gym shoes and took off.

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

The company of fools may first make us smile, but in the end we always feel melancholy.