Quotes About Humor

I'd rather get eaten by an epileptic shark.

Meine Wurst!" Better your sausage than your life, man!

Sometimes when I look at all my children, I say to myself, Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.

I sat next to a woman called Tadi and I asked her what she would do with the shells she earned and she said her husband would use them to buy another wife. 'I cannot make this bag fast enough,' she said. We all fell over laughing.

Ik zou het nog niet half zo lang hebben volgehouden,' zei ik, maar toen besefte ik dat hij in veel opzichten op de Dobu leek: zijn paranoïde trekjes, zijn zwarte humor, zijn wantrouwen jegens plezier, zijn geheimzinnigdoenerij. Ik ging als vanzelf aan zijn resultaten twijfelen. Als er maar één kenner van een bepaald volk is, zegt diens analyse dan meer over dat volk of over hem? Zoals gewoonlijk was ik meer geïnteresseerd in het raakvlak tussen die twee dan in andere dingen.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

Reality + Dreams + Humor = Wisdom   So

Reality—Dreams = Animal Being Reality + Dreams = A Heart-Ache (usually called Idealism) Reality + Humor = Realism (also called Conservatism) Dreams—Humor = Fanaticism Dreams + Humor = Fantasy Reality + Dreams + Humor = Wisdom

A good time to laugh is any time you can.

Listen, Mike, I don't know what happens in parochial schools—most of the guys survive the nuns and come out with a sense of humor—some a little more tasteful than yours, but humor nonetheless. This guy came out like Mother Superior himself, with a stick up his ass that should have punctured his brain by now

I would like to do maybe a smaller romantic comedy.

Lord Malquist and Mr Moon was the literary equivalent of the Wonderbra for intellectually pretentious students of the seventies.

I've had a very laughable career and what has seen me through is my sense of humor.

A friend once suggested that I paint my own blue boat and name her Thirteen Whistling Pigs. I might not be as superstitious as some, but I'm not crazy.

My heart is so light that it's amazing. I get to play all this grief, all this loss, all this disaster and chaos. It's hysterically funny. I am very light.

Do you want to know why men name their penis? So the most important decisions in their life aren't made by a stranger.

Do you want to know why men name their penis? So the most important decisions in their life aren't made by a stranger.

It was just a kiss – " "Yeah, and King Kong was just a monkey.

Are you making fun of my hero complex?' Yeah.

Don't kiss me," she said warningly. "I don't intend to," he replied, smiling a little. "I don't have my whip and chair with me.

My goal for writing is to touch your heart and tickle your funny bone, while leaving you with a promise of hope in your life and, therefore, in this world.