Quotes About Humor

The only birdcall I know is the Road Runner's BEEP BEEP.)

he laughs but it's a laugh he has to think about first.

I think he'll be all sweaty because, let's face it most fat people get sweaty just from lifting the twinkie to their mouth, but tiny is just to fabulous to sweat.

If you're not able to laugh inside a sex shop, then you probably shouldn't be there. I mean, they don't call it fooling around for nothing.

rofl! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS.)

You look about as tiny as Idina Menzel's voice.

We often believe the truest measure of a relationship is the ability to lay ourselves bare. But there's something to be said for parading your plumage as well, finding truth as much in the silly as the severe. Your humor is your compass and your shield. You can hone it into a weapon or you can pull its strands out to make your very own cotton-candy blanket. You can't exist on a diet of humor alone, but you can't exist on a diet without it, either.

I gotta go. The gingerbread men are on fire.

I once told him that the best way to break up a fight is to step between the two people and start singing ancient folk songs. But I'd never heard of anyone actually doing such a thing.

epithet, n. I think the worst you ever called me was a cunt rag. You mean I'm a tampon? I asked. I'm a tampon for not letting you drive? I laughed. You didn't. At least, not until you sobered up.

Please tell me this pity party ends early. Or at least serves cake.

maura: is there anything you want to tell me? me: yeah. I want to tell you that my third nipple is lactating and my butt cheeks are threatening to unionize. what do you think I should do about it? maura: I feel you're not telling me something.

Hi. I'm Thom. With an 'h'. I tell him, I'm Gnorah. With a 'g'. The 'g' is silent. Like 'gnome.' Really? Thom says. No, not really. I have an 'h' too. At the end. Used to be just N-O-R-A but when I had the H legally added to my name after my dad failed to sign up Norah Jones when he had the chance. I don't like him to forget these things easily.

if anyone ever uses lol with me, i rip my computer right out off the wall and smash it over the nearest head. i mean, it's not like anyone's laughing loud about the things they lol.

I knew she didn't suffer fools gladly, but she'd gladly make a fool suffer.

En las siguientes elecciones, voy a votar por tu mamá para que sea el siguiente Dios –Dice Tony cuando tomo el teléfono.

Me asombra lo aleatorio, lo cómico y la fe que nos une a todos y nos hace seguir adelante.

If you were a country, I said, what would your national anthem be? I meant a pre-existing song -- What a Wonderful World or Que Sera, Sera or something to make it a joke, like Hey Ya! (I would like, more than anything else, for my nation to be shaken like a Polaroid picture.)

Nothing ever happens on this globe for good without some people having their fill of laughter at first.

Hang out? his mother said. Sweetheart, laundry hangs out.

It's always a low when life beings to imitate an old Chevy Chase movie.

There is this book, Destroy All the Cars. It's about how caring about something deeply can also make you hate the world, because the world can be really disappointing. But don't worry-- it's also funny, too. Because that's how you get through all the disappointment, right? You have to find it all funny.

Will, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.

How was her crumbcake? oh.. from the store... .......