Quotes About Humor

Anyhow, I took out my glasseye to sleep, and when I woke up I couldn't remember where I'd put it.

The perfect couple: she puts the id back in Yid, I put the oy back in goy.

This is aging, pure and simple, the self-destroying hilarity of the last roller coaster.

You have to enjoy power, have a certain ruthlessness, to accept the beauty and not mourn the fact that it overshadows everything else. As with any exaggerated trait that sets you apart and makes you exceptional—and enviable, and hateable—to accept your beauty, to accept its effect on others, to play with it, to make the best of it, you're well advised to develop a sense of humor.

Lord, if you can't make me thin, then make my friends look fat," humorist Erma Bombeck once prayed.

Child, you cannot change a king, you can only make him laugh.

Al Hickey: It's not about anything. Frank Boggs: Yeah, it's about four hundred grand

You know, Jean, maybe it's a good thing we had all girls. If those Hatford boys belonged to us, we'd be in a mental ward.

Good grief! Have some bread with your peanut butter! Mother said, watching Caroline make her lunch. You have enough peanut butter on that bread for three sandwiches, Caroline. Pay attention. Dost thou talk to thy queen in such a manner? Caroline asked, raising one eyebrow. I dost, said Mother. And don't forget to pack some carrots and celery, m'lady.

stares down at her spinach. "It looks like poop," she says.

Of course. MAN—an acronym." The mouth on the screen quirked with obscure humor. "Oh? What do the letters stand for?" "Multi-Appendaged-Numbskull, of course. Every creature who is worthy of the title of sapience knows that.

But the text recorded it as 'Hell, you're in my hand'—an H instead of a W." Irene grimaced. "You mean everyone who sees that text will believe my husband swore at his sword?" "I'm afraid so," Chem said apologetically.

Even the Gods love jokes.

Sometimes joking is a relief from seriousness.

Chi è serio, si guarda bene dallo scrivere di cose serie.

And then she poked him again. Not because he wasn't paying attention but because when she did it the first time she found she liked it. Mrs. Bunny might think she was getting away with this, but Mr. Bunny was silently counting the pokes to pay her back later.

The Gedalists were nearly run down by a Dodge truck on which two grand pianos had been loaded: two uniformed officers were playing, in unison, with gravity and commitment, the 1812 Overture of Tchaikowsky, while the driver wove among the wagons with brusque swerves, pressing the siren at full volume, heedless of the pedestrians in his way.

would be funny if Mr. Piccolo resembled a piccolo, but he doesn't. Actually, he's quite round. More like a bass fiddle. He has a big pouch of a belly that stretches the oversized turtleneck sweaters he always wears. He has a round face, too. He's mostly bald and his scalp shines like a bowling ball. He wears square eyeglasses, which are always sliding down

Mr. McCall cradled his four casaba melons in his hands. They were still attached to the vine. "I came out to water my casabas and I found this... this..." He was too upset to finish. He held the melons out to us. "Whoa!" I cried in amazement. No raccoon could have done this. No way. Someone had taken a black marker and drawn big, sloppy smiley faces on each melon!

There's a trick to not crying when you peel an onion," Mr. Powell said, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Wish I knew it.

Of course, neat and tidy Mindy can't stand the lawn ornaments. Neither can Mom. Every time Dad brings a new one home, Mom threatens to toss it into the garbage.

gülmektir çünkü insan? insan eden

Eve: We nearly got killed over ice cream. Shane: Another thing I don't want on my tombstone. Claire: You have others? Shane: *first finger* I thought it wasn't loaded. *second finger* Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank. *third finger* Killed over ice cream.

Seriously," Shane said, "this kind of is the worst situation we've ever been in, right?" "Speak for yourself," Michael said. "I got myself killed last year. Twice." "Oh yeah. You're right—last year really sucked for you.