Quotes About Humor

I'd kiss you, too, if I was closer."(claire) "I wouldn't," Michael said. "I don't love you that way." "That's not what you said last time."(shane) "Ass."(michael) _________________________ "No," Shane said. "I'm not leaving you two here alone. We stick together." "I'm still not kissing you," Michael said. "Tease.

Not bad," she finally said. "At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time." "Made myself a batch with it," Shane said. "It's got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don't bitch if you get flamed. Where'd you pick up the stray?" "Outside. She came to see the room." "You beat her up first, just to make sure she's tough enough?" "Bite me, chilli boy.

Just who are you planning to call? Ghostbusters?

You have not been sticking your dirty fingers in my sauce,'' Eve said, and pointed her wooden spoon at him. He quickly took the finger out of his mouth. ''First off, they're not dirty. I licked them first.

Things that Shane doesn't want on his grave: (1.) I thought it wasn't loaded. (2.) Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank. (3.) Killed over Ice Cream

And about Shane, I swear, if he doesn't snap out of it, I'm going to punch him in the face. Well, punch him in the face and then run like hell. - Eve Rosser

This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen, Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.

Eve took me to teach me how to fence, Claire said. Not so much how to fence as how to hold a sword and not drop it, Eve said. And then I fought Oliver to a draw. Shane fluttered his hands. Oh, and then we were all elected as ice princesses and asked to go to Disneyland! Laugh all you want. I'm going to look way better in full skirts than you, Eve said.

He hung up on her. She'd just been hung up on by a disembodied brain in a jar. Fantastic.

why don't you just get the bunny slippers with fangs Myrin?

You're not going to suck.'' ''Not at the guitar, anyway,'' Shane said, deadpan. Claire punched him in the arm. ''Ow.

Michael, don't," Eve said. "He won't hurt us." Andeveryone rolled their eyes at that. Even Jason, which was borderline hilarious.

Glad it was you and not me, Shane said, and offered Myrin a hand up. Any brain damage? Since the bullet actually passed through his brain, then yes, idiot boy, there's certainly brain damage, Oliver said. It will pass. His brain's the least fragile thing about him. You say the nicest things, Myrin said. He was slurring his words, and he threw an arm around Oliver's neck. Marry me.

Because you know, I'm your best friend, but you're just not that badass, man.

Shane said, Don't worry. I'll protect you. Claire hit him in the shoulder. I don't need you to protect me. Then why am I going first? So you can take the first punch while I throw the second? So I'm bait? Ouch. You've been in Morganville way too long, girl.

What about e-mail? It is e-mail, yes? Morley asked, leaning even closer. E-mail is a kind of electronic letter. It travels through the air. He seemed very smug that he knew that. Well, not exactly, and would you please either BACK OFF or go find a shower?

Here. Have a Coke. That's good for a sore throat, right?" "Good for everything," Shane croaked, and took the extended cold can with good grace. "Thanks." "You owe me a dollar," Eve said. "I'll add it to the five thousand you already owe me, though." He blew her a kiss, and she stuck her tongue out at him, and that was the end of the subject, thankfully.

Michael patted him on the shoulder. "I like this plan," he said. "You and Eve, picking up cake and flowers, and you can't even say a word. Should be tons of fun." Shane almost choked, and gave Michael a sideways glare. Michael sent him a hundred-watt smile in return—no fangs, which was probably for the best.

Jackass! Eve yelled. You know, when people say that, I just hear the word awesome, Shane said.

claire:dont do anything dumb or ill kill you myself shane:ouch girl whatever happend to unconditional love around here

Sam talking to a frat boy - You. O Positive. How many exits? What?....Oh shit, did you just call me by my blood type?

He rose to his feet and padded down the last few steps silently, came up behind Kim, and leaned over her to say, "I vant to drink your blood" in a heavy, fake Dracula accent. She shrieked, flailed, and a zombie ate her brains on-screen.!

Who's your daddy?' Myrnin stared at him as if he'd gone completely mental. ' Excuse me?

This is the biggest damn iPod I've ever seen,' Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. 'Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.' 'The way you're feeding it, I'm not so sure. You think you picked enough songs?