Quotes About Humor

Saint Claire, the patron saint of the kick-me sign.

And by the way, showers. Look into them, Doug!

Bite me, Dracula.

It's a good thing I've got to live with you two or I'd be putting this on YouTube later. And mocking you

shane:you only love me for my abs clair:shut up loser shift off

He had on a funny T-shirt, as usual. Today's featured acartoon figure running from a giant T. rex, and it read EXERCISE: SOME MOTIVATIONREQUIRED.

Take the back door, she said. Claire, you and your strang friend- Eve, they both said simultaneously, and Eve held out her fst for a bump. Or, you could call me Eve the Great, Mistress of All She Surveys. Eve for short.

SHANE:WANT SOME SHANE ASKED.COME AND GET IT BAT BOY MICHAEL:YOUR NOT MY BLOOD TYPE BRO

Moi?" He put his hand over his heart and did his best wounded-innocent look. "You must be thinking of some other uncouth jackass. Which makes me jealous, by the way.

Screw that, the questionn at hand is what's your major? Oded said. Because let me tell you right now, any answer other than World of Warcraft or Advanced Ninja Studies will not be accepted.

I paused in the act of opening the door and looked at him with what were probably cartoon-wide eyes. Wait a second, I said. So, you're best friends with a hot vampire chick who likes leather. Yeah. And together, you fight crime? I couldn't help it. I cracked up.

I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all the other Djinn will point and laugh-

Nice Shane said. I'm warming up to this bloodsucking thing Mikey. No you're not. Okay no I'm not but right now let's pretend I am.

EVE:so thats the bathroom where shane spends houres doing his hair shane:bite me

Sure. Knock yourself out. No, really. Hammer to the head, works every time." Claire

It's part of the marriage vows. Didn't you read the fine print? To have and to harass.

Well, he said, I think we've found our way in. We just wait until they're duking it out, but trust me, these Humans First types don't have a lot of staying power or they'd have been at the gym with me before. I doubt Grandma Kent there is going to do a lot of damage. He pointed at a gray-haired, hunched lady in a shawl, carrying what looked liked a gardening tool. It's like Plants Versus Zombies, and I'm not rooting for the zombies, weirdly enough.

I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often.

You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile.

Guys aren't deep enough to need CliffsNotes.

Are the two of you quite done with your sweet nothings? Because I might vomit.

Lewis and I played my-God-how-tacky-is-that? with Patrick's collection of objets d'crap, finally coming to the conclusion that only a going-out-of-business sale at a whorehouse could really explain a lot of it.

You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now.

Really? Claire said, and couldn't help but smile. That's what creeps you out. Waxing. You can take on vampires and draug and killers, but you're afraid of a little chest-hair pulling?