Quotes About Humor

Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world. So if it is correct to say that humor was stamped out in Nazi Germany, that does not mean that people were not in good spirits, or anything of that sort, but something much deeper and more important.

A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done.

every now and then, i worry about people in the third world countries. and then i figure if they all started having sex, their lives would be considerably brighter.

I asked her sister for a cell number, at least, but something tells me that 401-GO2-HELL is out of service.

Look at that," Michael said. "My daughter's an hour old and she's already sleeping with some guy.

I've got a Don Baylor, J.T. said. California sucks this year. Ralph snickered. I wouldn't use a Baylor card to scrape dog shit off the street.

I was living alone before, Campbell, if that's what you're asking. She looks at me over the edge of her wine glass. How about you? I have six wives, fifteen children, and an assortment of sheep. Her lips curve. People like you always make me feel like I'm underachieving.

So what do you think the physical effect was? Roman Laughed. Buddy, he said, she was tripping.

It was Mark Twain who noticed that, in German, the noun for fish is masculine, the one for fish scales is feminine, and the word for fishwife is neuter. These are the thoughts that go through

That's the life, she said to me, as we watched a puppy chase its own tail. That's what I want to be next. I had laughed. You would wind up as a cat, I told her. They don't need anyone else. I need you, she replied. Well, I said. Maybe I'll come back as catnip.

I can't believe you're making jokes while I'm freaking out.

A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, a peg leg, and a steering wheel on his pants," Derek said. "The bartender says, 'Hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants.' And the pirate goes, 'Arrrgh, I know. It's driving me nuts.

Caesar snorts. 'Maybe it was. Maybe the fat guy was really a suicide arsonist. He crawled up into the chimney and lit himself on fire.' 'Maybe he was just desperate to lose weight,' Paulie adds, and the other guys crack up. 'Enough,' I say. 'Aw, Fitz, you gotta admit it's pretty funny – ' 'Not to that man's parents. Not to his family.

Have you had your first baby yet? I might have one myself, once they find a way for the man to carry it around the first nine months.

Èši-a spus cineva ceva? am întrebat-o. - Nu-s decât o ciuperc?. Gluma asta cazon? era veche È™i pe timpul lui taic?-meu: Sunt È›inut? în bezn? È™i hr?nit? cu rahat.

He had a moustache-and-beard combination that looked like a skinny white caterpillar taking a lap around his mouth.

Humor is the last refuge of the damned.

Now I know she couldn't ambush a panda bear on Quaaludes.

Let me tell you, if you have never seen an agitated squirrel you have seen very little, nor have you heard much, because the sound of an angry squirrel is not to be forgotten.

I thought I had the world by the tail. It took me a few years to realize the closest I was to having the world by the tail was being a dingle berry on one of its ass hairs.

Everything is humorous, said Shorty, except your own death. But other people will laugh.

I'm so bored I could sing to my dick.

I really like those old shows. I've decided the way to know you're becoming an old fogey is when the only shows you like are sponsored by Depends, the Scooter Store, and Viagra.