Quotes About Humor

This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.

That`s silly

It's enough to make me laugh. I close the door behind me and sit down again, considering this, and truly, I find it so funny that I laugh until I cry. And when the tears come I think aah... So this is what it means to be alone.

I married up several times. And then across once or twice. And then beneath me. I never quite found the right level somehow. Perhaps I should have married diagonally or in a slightly curved direction.

Only by the possession of a sense of humour am I saved from insignificance. To

She was Mattie Tucker now, mother of three and a good forty pounds heavier, casting that burning eye over them all, reaching way back for a southern pleasantry that was more like a Halloween apple with a razor blade in it: 'Well, don't y'all make just the perfect family of four?

Speak not so sourly,' answered Robin. 'Did you eat thorns and vinegar for breakfast today?

I feel like one little fellow who knelt at the side of his bed, closed his eyes, and prayed, "God bless Mom. God bless Dad. God bless Grandma." He said it the same way every time. But one night he added, "And please take care of yourself, God. 'Cause if anything happens to you, we're all sunk!

The unfortunate truth is that many of us, instead of offering total forgiveness, pray something like this Irish Prayer: May those who love us, love us; And those who don't love us May God turn their hearts; And if He doesn't turn their hearts, May He turn their ankles, So we'll know them by their limping. People

Me encanta este chiste: «¿Cuántas personas se necesitan para cambiar un foco?» Respuesta: «Cuatro. Una para cambiar el foco, y tres para hacer reminiscencias de cuán bueno era el foco viejo».

These napkins are more holy than righteous," Mrs. Wapshot said, and most of her conversation at table was made up of just such chestnuts, saws and hoary puns.

I cannot any longer endure being served breakfast in bed by a hairy man in his underwear.

Only an obsessional procrastinator would cry, 'Let's run for our lives, but not till Wednesday afternoon.' Back

The Goon Show

The first time it was my turn to do the shopping, I overindulged my growing taste for exotic food with a bagful of goodies like smoked elk's liver and chocolate-covered ants and mackerel-and-prune soup and curried walrus testicles. I'd sort of forgotten about the milk and the bread and the eggs. I was never allowed to shop again.

And so Graham and I finally got down to our first film script, and I can say with complete confidence that we had absolutely no idea what we were doing. Of course, we had no idea we had no idea what we were doing, and that meant our enthusiasm stayed intact.

Laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter.

The problem with political correctness is that comedians have to set the bar according to what we are told by the most touchy, most emotionally unstable and fragile and least stoic people in the country.

I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again.

Well! my best to ye both and so says Phyllis from us both. I think I enjoy life more not less now that old age has stopped all my naughty little ways!    Yours as ever       Jack the Vampire & Corpse Lover.

Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible.

That one day you wake up and you realize just how surreal everything going on in your life is, and all you can do is laugh about it-- which goes to show just how ridiculous and complicated life can be.

Sometimes life gets so difficult that you just need to laugh about it.

Happy Valentine's Day to the person I've slept with most recently.