Quotes About Humor

Instead of getting periods once a month, can girls just get a text from mother nature saying 'You're not pregnant have a nice day!'

Yes dad, Every guy I know is my boyfriend...

I think I'd be willing to risk a cracked screen just to throw my iPhone at my boyfriend's head sometimes.

Facebook really ought to change their relationship status option from Single to Single and Awesome.

Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never cease to be amused.

Blessed are they, that can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused.

You know the other person is bored of texting when they say 'lol' when you weren't being funny.

I'm not funny. What I am is brave.

What do we care, if the world is a joke? We'll give it a big kiss, we'll give it a poke. Death wears a big hat cause he's a big bloke.

I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'

I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!

When age is jocond it makes sport for death. [When age is jocund, it makes sport for death.]

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.

The inmates made jokes about the chair, the way people always make jokes about things that frighten them but can't be gotten away from.

I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

They say even death can't cure an idiot.-Ririn

When I die, ' I said to my friend, 'I'm not going to be embalmed. I'm going to be dipped.' Milk chocolate or bittersweet was the immediate concern.

No man should go to Valhalla with brothel rash.

I wish I could recommend the experience of not being killed to everyone.

WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?

Just when you think you're in the cat-bird's seat, the Angel of Death calls "dibs" on shotgun.

Do you know how wizards like to be buried?""Yes!""Well, how?"Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs."Reluctantly.

At the end to death I must go, Finishing a real tragic and funny show.