Quotes About Humor

Somebody had written: MEN, which was crossed out and replaced with LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR A PENIS. Under that, the word WOMEN had also been crossed out and replaced with VAGINAL AMERICANS.

A cloud of bugs settled around me. Swathes of mosquitoes landed on my arm, tickled my skin, and took off. Why didn't they bite? Professional courtesy, I guess.

Oral Sex Won't Cause Brain Freeze.

I can take care of myself. I've got plenty of potions. If he comes back again, I'll turn him into a frog and feed him to a duck.

To paraphrase Jesus from The Big Lebowski, 'I'm going to shove this gun up her ass and pull the trigger until it goes click.

Che?" I asked. "Odd name for a dog." "Why, vato? What else could I name him? He's a red dog.

Yeah, that's likely," Jolie replied, her voice keen with sarcasm. "And until then, we'll count the bluebirds and rainbows shooting out of my ass.

No sé, si uno se ríe verdaderamente con ganas, parece como si de pronto se te reacomodaran las vísceras, como si de pronto hubiera razones para el ptimismo, como si todo esto tuviera un sentido. Uno tendría que automedicarse la risa como un tratamiento de profilaxis sicológica, pero el problema, como te imaginarás, es que no abundan los motivos de risa.

Es que me hace mucho mal no tenerte aquí, o que no me tengas allí, es lo mismo. No te rías; siempre te ríes de todo, aun cuando no se trate de nada gracioso.

Cuando el tipo reía, era como para ponerse a reflexionar sobre las imprevistas variantes de la imbecilidad humana.

When you have praised my leg so beautifully? I can assure you that no female of my acquaintance has ever appreciated my poor leg so much before. When I die, I shall have it embalmed and sent to you.

Ginny looked at him in a puzzled way. "Are you in the habit of saying things you don't mean?" "There is a certain type of wit called sarcasm," said Lord Gerald loftily. Ginny's brow cleared. "Oh now I understand" she said. "You were just being nasty.

But if you don't watch me, I will try and sneak in some humor. I see humor everywhere in life around me.

It was a good way to begin. I've found that almost everything is better when it starts with a joke and a mouthful of really great food.

Cuando alguna visita le pregunta cómo se siente en la cárcel, levanta los hombros y contesta, cansada: "No hay gran diferencia con mi vida de casada".

We can only feel sorry for ourselves when our misfortunes are still supportable. Once this limit is crossed, the only way to bear the unbearable is to laugh at it.

Ma Baxter rocked complacently. They were all pleased whenever she made a joke. Her good nature made the same difference in the house as the hearth-fire had made in the chill of the evening.

How's his appendix?" "Like crap. They almost didn't catch it in time, and he's still doing the ass-plant in a hospital bed, being doted on by an army of hot nurses. Makes me sick." "Maybeyou should rupture something." "Any more of these stories out of you and I just might.

I raised an eyebrow. "I've told you not to talk to hairy strangers, right?" "Define hairy," Byron said, but there was a rare faint smile on his face, and I almost smiled back.

Come on. Let's go and sit down. I need to have a beer and a nervous breakdown." "Talk first, then breakdown. I want answers, not drool." "You used to love my drool." "Ha. You funny.

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell once said, "We are here in mortality, and the only way to go is through; there isn't any around!" I would add, the only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.

A lot of people say that comedy doesn't travel well. I found it very accessible.

For Chandler it was all or nothing. Or, to hear one of his characters say it, "I'm an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard.