Quotes About Humor

You know, Hobbes, some days even my rocketship underpants dont help.

The worst feature of a new baby is its mothers singing.

One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

Don't drink and park, accidents in cars cause population. F**k more the Merrier

I went out with a guy who once told me I didnt need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that youre more fun to be around.

The hamburger meat looks like Vinny's chest hair!

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.

I think I have always had a little humor.

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.

It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

Nothing on a bulldog's face Seems to have a proper place His eyelids droop His jaws are square His jowls are beyond compare His nose looks like he's had a fight He's got a great big underbite you look at him and have to hoot He so ugly that he's cute

At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing. I've been in a generally good mood ever since.

Grace has a grand laughter in it.

Cum se numea dr?cia aceea frumoas? ?i minunat? ?i nenorocit? ?i caraghioas?, format? de ani, pe care am tr?it-o eu?

O sa-ti dau sah si-ti pierzi optimismul, Imi spune el. - Nu-i nimic, glumesc eu, Fac rocada sentimentelor.

you can tell the most terrible truths if you first open the human heart with humor.

Tractors and boobs. There you have it.

When I saw the car pulling into the driveway and I saw her getting out and walking towards the house, can you imagine Nadezhda, I performed involuntary excretion in my trousers.