Quotes About Humor

I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

Sometimes they laugh at things I don't think are funny, but I believe if they're laughing at me, it's a good show.

In democracy both a deep reverence and a sense of the comic are requisite.

I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny.

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny.

I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our weaknesses and exaggerating them, and that's how it becomes funny.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation that does not seem ideal for my comedy and see how it works.

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

Sanders was a friend of chickens.

It's usually the funny comments which are the better ones - and they are good for the game.

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

In comedy, though, it's good to get feedback from the audience about what they find funny.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.

I don't just randomly kill people... I kill people when it's funny.