Quotes About Humor

one doesn't interrupt a beautiful girl unless one is going to be funny.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.

I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny.

I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.

When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it

So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness".

There's something darn funny about an old librarian with a potty mouth.

The embarrassing thing is that my salad dressing is out-grossing my films.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.

I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana - mafia.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.

I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me.

I don't like forcing comedy and people just trying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time.

I think, in comedy, timing is everything. You and I could tell the same joke, but if one of our timing is off, it won't be as funny. You've gotta know when to deliver your punch-lines.

Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it.

Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

If I book a hotel it's actually very funny. It's very nice to be a genuine Mr Smith.

I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.