Quotes About Humor

But how do you tell someone your genius ex-boyfriend invented microscopic nanobots to retrieve wayward sperm? You don't.

I do twenty jumping jacks a day. Well, half of that. I just clap.

I'd go to the end of the world for my husband. Of course, if he'd just stop and ask directions, I wouldn't have to.

I'm not very domestic. For years my family thought mold was a frosting.

I tan the easy way. I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

There's a fine line between funny and annoying – and it's exactly the width of a quotation mark.

We look at the dance to impart the sensation of living in an affirmation of life, to energize the spectator into keener awareness of the vigor, the mystery, the humor, the variety, and the wonder of life. This is the function of the American dance

There's a bit of Ron Burgundy in every newsroom..

It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.

Target Two's gray face went surprised, then furious. It was kind of funny. This was a point where if I was a human (ick) I might have laughed. I decided to go with my first inclination and kill the shit out of some ass-faced hostiles instead. I told the Targets, "Angry, then afraid, then dead. Is that the right order?

Pin-Lee had promised, "Don't worry, I'll preserve your right to wander off like an asshole anytime you like." (I said, "It takes one to know one.")

I can also be kind of an asshole. ("Kind of" = in the 70 percent–80 percent range.)

said, "The humans think I'm an asshole, wait till they get to know you." I thought you weren't speaking to me.

Kai." Ziede reached up to rub her face, apparently remembered her already ruined makeup, and planted her hands on her hips instead. "Could you manage not to find any more unique ways to destroy yourself until after we find this Hierarch? I don't really care to die alone." "Well, I'll try." It wasn't like Kai could make any promises right now.

as you may have noticed that for a terrifying murderbot I fuck up a lot.

I probably should have been doing that from the beginning, but you may have noticed that for a terrifying murderbot I fuck up a lot.

Moon had the feeling Stone was inadvertently teaching the kethel how to be sarcastic. That wasn't going to work out for anybody.

It's joking." Ratthi managed to sound like he completely believed that. "That's how it looks when it's joking." He sent me on the feed, Stop joking.

I'd tell you to be careful, but…" Kai looked at her through the black film of the veil. "You could say 'be violent' instead." Tahren, who Kai was beginning to suspect had a very dry sense of humor, patted his shoulder and said, Be violent.

He hadn't said Tremaine was crazy either. He gave the impression that he was used to being pulled out of a sound sleep to humor people in the middle of a cold night... "Maybe that's why I love him," Tremaine thought, lifting an ironic brow at herself. Then she processed that thought. "I do what?

He had a real mother, and a stepfather named Bart who Martin called Fart but only with his brothers and James

Spike (to Giles) : Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes — 'Cuppa tea, cuppa tea... almost got shagged... cuppa tea'?