Quotes About Humor

Good sex is impossible to write about. Lawrence and Updike have given it their all, and the result is still uneasy and unsure. It may be that good sex is something fiction just can't do -- like dreams. Most of the sex in my novels is absolutely disastrous. Sex can be funny, but not very sexy.

I have always derived great comfort from William Shakespeare. After a depressing visit to the mirror or an unkind word from a girlfriend or an incredulous stare in the street, I say to myself: 'Well. Shakespeare looked like shit.' It works wonders.

Visit any comedy club, or watch Bridesmaids, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy or Louis CK's routines on YouTube, and you'll realize that Americans pay comedians millions of dollars to talk about things most of them have felt, or thought, but never said in public. In

I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, 'Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?

Perhaps only his sense of humor and irony can save him when he hears the most powerful nation in the world speaking of his aggression as it drops thousands of bombs on a poor weak nation more than eight thousand miles away from its shores.

The pyjamas have cats on them. I am informed that these cats belong to an organisation called Hello Kitty.

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O.

Because of the movies I make, people get nervous, because they think of me as difficult and angry. I am difficult and angry, but they don't expect a sense of humor. And the only thing that gets me through is a sense of humor.

Those years on the golf course as a caddie, boy, those people were something. They were vulgar, some were alcoholics, racist, they were very difficult people to deal with. A lot of them didn't have a sense of humor.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.

My old mum always said, if brains was gunpowder he couldn't blow his fucking eyebrows off.

Aiden would have laughed. But obviously he had not found anything even

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

You're looking...good enough to eat. Figuratively speaking, I'm strictly vegan.

hi my name is luke, it rhymes with puke!

Cicero himself had large amounts of money invested in low-grade property and once joked, more out of superiority than embarrassment, that even the rats had packed up and left one of his crumbling rental blocks.

According to Suetonius, Vespasian continued his down-to-earth line in self-deprecating wit right up until his last words: 'Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god …' The whole process of becoming, or not becoming, a god is the theme of a long skit probably written in the mid 50s CE by Lucius Annaeus Seneca

According to Suetonius, Vespasian continued his down-to-earth line in self-deprecating wit right up until his last words: 'Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god …

Don't get your drawers in a twist,' was one of her favourite phrases, 'or you'll find yourself bum-bare in the market-place . . . .

Dark humor might have offended some on the other side of the blue line, but it was how cops coped with very grim realities.

She saw the skin pull under the driver's ears and knew that he was laughing.

A shrink?" She threw Jenny a look and said, "He's a psychologist, actually." "Oh. A mini-shrink.

The man had the intelligence of the average fence post, the personality of a wounded warthog, and the stubbornness of a flea-bitten mule. Grace silently apologized to all the animals she'd just insulted.