Quotes About Humor

I think Peter Falk had one real eye and one glass eye, and having one eye was probably better for shooting pool than having two.

Maxwell Smart: And I happen to know that at this very minute, seven Coast Guard cutters are converging on this boat. Would you believe it, seven? Mr. Big: I find that pretty hard to believe. Maxwell Smart: Would you believe six? Mr. Big: I don't think so. Maxwell Smart: How about two cops in a rowboat?

Comedy is a very powerful component in life. It has the most to say about the human condition because if you laugh you can get by. You can struggle when things are bad if you have a s sense of humor. Laughter is a protest scream against death, against the long good bye. Its a defense against unhappiness and depression.

Surprise is one of the most universally accepted formulas for humor. A joke is a story, and a surprise ending is usually its finale.

The basic two-step in humor is to (a) state some common problem, frequently with a cliché, and (b) create an unexpected ending or surprise.

It's psychologically impossible to hate someone with whom you've laughed.

You may not like the humor, but that is why every radio has an on-off button.

Doctor Moran told you to get your rest," Jim said doubtfully. "The good doctor can go and ... attempt the anatomically impossible," Ryan said dryly.

I shrug. "I'll probably mention that I'm in love with you." He chuckles. "Only you would say that in such a I-think-I'll-wash-my-hair-tonight tone.

She asked me what type of contraceptive I use. Underwear. Keeping it on prevents pregnancy.

He bursts out laughing. It's short, as if he regretted allowing me to make him laugh, but the satisfaction's already mine.

Once she made him watch Pride and Prejudice and for ages he would re-word Mr Bingley's apology to Jane Bennet, saying, 'I've been an inexplicable fool', for anything from losing his keys to burping out loud. Her reply to anything she wanted to do was Jane Bennet's response to Bingley's marriage proposal, 'A thousand times yes.

So between you and me," I tell Justine on the phone that night, "we're either bitchy or stupid." "Oh God," she moans. "Everyone thinks I'm an idiot." "Thanks!

I can't wait to tell him one day," she says with a giggle. "'Hey, Chaz, guess what? We knew where your precious car was all the time.' I'd like to take a photo of his face. What do you think?" "I reckon I'd smile really nicely in the photo," Santangelo says behind me, yanking me out of the way, "knowing that you'll be keeping it under your pillow for the rest of your life.

It's like geographical humor. You just don't get it unless you were there.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Okay, would you like pizza?" "I don't think you deserve my company but I feel sorry for you so I'll say yes." "God help me," he said, half under his breath.

I spent the whole morning looking at him. He looked at Mama. Mama looked at me. Then he would look at me. I would look at Mama. She would look at him. In different circumstances, I'd be amused.

He stares at the them, mid mouthful. 'Please,' he says, after he's swallowed. 'It's bad enough that the middle-aged are having sex, without thinking of my aunt doing it. And I don't know why someone just doesn't tell Sam to use a condom instead of impregnating the women of the inner-west.

His voice is deep and gravelly. I once heard one of the girls say that he had the voice of a sex god, but because I've never really heard what a sex god sounds like, I can't verify that.

Please," he says after he's swallowed. "It's bad enough that the middle-aged are having sex, without thinking of my aunt doing it. And I don't know why someone just doesn't tell Sam to use a condom instead of impregnating the women of the inner-west." Georgie stares at him, stunned, and then she bursts out laughing. "Middle-aged? What a little dickhead," Lucia says.

I have to say it's a bit traumatic at times, not knowing when the next penis will appear.

If the munchkin, whose face I used to wash, tries to explain to us what a sixty-niner is, I'm going to report myself to child protection.

You don't look Italian," I tell him. "Half." "Which half?" He thinks for a moment, and I see a ghost of a smile appear on his face. "The pigheaded side." "I thought you said you were only half Italian?" He bursts out laughing. It's short, as if he's regretted allowing me to make him laugh, but the satisfaction's already mine.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering. ~  Unknown