Quotes About Humor

just cus your cat had kittens in the oven don't make em biscuits

People never think things that are true are funny.

Without stopping kissing her, he swept her up into his arms. They stood in the motel lobby kissing until someone called, "Get a room." Donia pulled back and laughed. "That was the plan. They said no.

Hi," (cough), "my name is Jasmin Field. I'm a journalist. So don't piss me off. Ha ha. And um - well, I can't really act. Ha ha." No one laughed.

My humor tends to be a little more edgy than is appropriate for 'Twilight ' although I got some in there. That was fun! There's just a tonal difference. For me, storytelling is storytelling. But, I do like writing for grown ups.

I'm beginning to think that you aren't with child. You've simply become fat after reading too many recipes.

You'll see. I have a collection of fine waistcoats and a handsome face." He stepped back to let her take in the full effect of both and her smile spread to the edge of a laugh.

Her parents exchanged an odd glance. Her mother's lips curved. "Yes, I imagine that he possesses a rather large cannon," she said, spearing her sausage with a fork.

I could do with a little more fun and a bit less being precious. It isn't all fun, being a princess. In fact, a lot of it is pretty grim.

Fart: to break wind behind. As when we gun discharge Although the bore be ne'er so large Before the flame the muzzle burst Just at the breech it flashes first; So from my lord his passion broke, He farted first and then he spoke.

As when we gun discharge Although the bore be ne'er so large Before the flame the muzzle burst Just at the breech it flashes first; So from my lord his passion broke, He farted first and then he spoke. [Swift]

A meme a day keeps the planes away.

It is not likely that the insects were attracted by any beer in the bottle because, as the authors remind us, no Australian would ever throw away a bottle that still has beer in it.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that. Then there are some of us who, early on, see that that doesn't work. So we joke about it.

Hey Shelly, you're looking at me like I'm from another planet. What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong. Bubbles sold me alien abduction insurance. I haven't got a care in the world.

Love makes you say stupid stuff, though I don't think it technically lowers your chances of a scholarship.

A gargalhada é mulher, o riso é masculino.

Ao rirmos assim, sabe o que estamos a fazer? Estamos a embrulhar tristeza.

Voltaire once said that God was merely a comedian playing before an audience that was afraid to laugh?

Sperm Donor. My mom had used that term. We can just call him Ed, the sperm donor. It wasn't the first time I had heard of my biological father being referred to this way. It wouldn't be the last. It was said like it was a joke.

I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.

Puck flapped up to the happy couple. "Wait a minute! You have to ask someone to marry you? No one told me that! I thought you just hit them with a club and dragged them back to your cave!" Henry put his arm around Sabrina. "You're officially grounded from ever getting married." "Thank you," Sabrina whispered sincerely.

You can be a homicidal madman and hilarious at the same time, you know