Quotes About Humor

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

My father and I had a good relationship, it was very relaxed. He had a lot of humour. He looked a little bit like me, although he had no beard. He had the appearance of a very elegant British-looking man.

Sometimes we know people who are too wonderful for words. I am not one of them. Or you, for that matter, as you well know.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do when you're down there."? – George Burns

It's impossible to say "good eye might" without sounding Australian.

dyslexic man walks into a bra... 2. "I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.

I think the scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor.

If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed.

As for my own truncated secondary education, my head was in the clouds as my mom would say, or if you asked my father, up my ass.

It's a serious world, someone has to make fun of it.

My legacy would be that you don't have to give up anything. You can be chic but have a sense of humor, you can be sexy but comfortable, you can be timeless but fresh.

Actually, the Bible doesn't say anything about masturbation," I said, adding, "unless you count, 'Whatever you find to do with your hand, verily I say, do it with all your might.'" He looked perplexed. I smiled. "It's a joke. The Bible doesn't say anything about it.

A person who decrees "That's not funny" isn't in a position to define that for anyone, let alone everyone.

Yet for the evangelical left, with humor as with everything else, if it's not for everyone then it's not for anyone.

Je suppose que j'aurai quand même du mal à te convaincre d'assister à l'inauguration... - Seigneur, jamais de la vie ! s'exclama Elinor avec un rire enjoué. En plus, je l'ai déjà fêtée à ma façon.

it didn't make a damn bit of difference if he won or lost, he wasn't gone be saddled with a wife who could drink more than a barnful of Irishmen

Tioga did you wipe it on my mustache?

He laughed to himself he said because if he did not laugh he would cry.

It's better to die laughing than to live each moment in fear.

Já vím, kamaráde. Snažím se tohle všechno nezapomínat, ale je to stejn? snadné jako sprchovat slona ve van?." "Hezká p?edstava, ale já mám spíš dojem, že sprchujeme hejno opic.

She gives off an aura of enormous sadness, though her powers of humor and forgiveness seem to run equally as deep.

Laughing brings out the good in food. It's good to laugh. If you don't laugh, you're going to magnify. And if you magnify, you're going to die.

Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something.

you don't stop laughing when you grown old, you grow old when you stop laughing.