Quotes About Humor

You need not hate them, for that hurts you too,' she explained. 'It is sufficient to laugh at them.

My cat mocks me frequently. It's the universe's way of keeping me from getting too big of an ego.

Do not pay attention to my cousins. Every family needs a couple idiots and we keep them around for entertainment.

For some reason, when people meet me and find out I'm a writer they always ask if I write children's books. Um... please don't let your kids read my books. Well, unless your kids are in their 30s or something...then yeah, they're old enough. LOL

Drie pijlen om een volwassenen everzwijn mee neer te schieten. Dat was bijna hetzelfde als een eland met een bosje bloemen doodmeppen.

I do find comedy difficult. I don't know why. Maybe I think about it too much. There's a tremendous amount of pressure to be funny.

I've never met a person who has more integrity than my husband. I respect that. There's his humor and intelligence, too, and he's really cute, all those things - but if you don't respect your partner, you'll get sick of him.

No...I...I had this spicy Mexican food last night. It's only a bad case of heartburn. I don't need an exorcism. i need some Pepto-Bismo!

She raised an eyebrow. "I thought I sensed something oddly human about you. From the moment I though it was simply residue from your recent and ill-advised horizontal romp with that girl" "What makes you think we were horizontal?" Darrack's lip twitched

Bishop's brows went up. "Okay, fine. Yes, I followed you here. Better?" "Yes. Stalkery, but better." "I'm not stalking you." "Spoken like a true stalker." -- Bishop and Samantha, page 79

Owen's gaze flicked to me again. "Maybe you're right. And what a wonderful change it is. Tell me, Sarah, how on earth do you put up with Monsieur de Bennicoeur's dour ways? You must feel as if you've married a high school principal." I shrugged. "Guess that's my type. The dourer the better, I say." "I'm not dour," Thierry said dourly.

Bite me, Rhys.' 'Where?

There wasn't a colloquial phrase, or curse, that went something like, "May your day be full of angry dragons" or, "May every dragon you meet today be pissed off." But, there should have been.

It felt as if things were literally slipping through my fingers. Things were just streaming away from me. I lost my sense of humor. I'm still looking for that.

I think cynicism often disguises itself as humour.

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

I've been married so many times my certificate now reads: 'To Whom It May Concern.'

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the liquor weaker, the gods kinder, the dice hotter - it might have all ended up in a one-sentence story.

If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject.

Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.

People find it hard to be both comic and serious, though life manages it easily enough.