Quotes About Humor

I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

...The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

A flea and a fly

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

Sure deck your lower limbs in pants; Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance– Have you seen yourself retreating?

You can have my jellyfish I am not sellyfish

I could not eat a kangaroo. But many fine Australians do. Those with cookbooks as well as boomerangs Prefer him in tasty kangaroo-meringues.

Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seagulls I leave no tern unstoned.

I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the puma had no sense of huma

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

How can one be so serious with the world when the world itself is so ridiculous?

Cómo se puede tomar al mundo en serio, siendo el mundo tan ridículo?

Beanie Well, let me be the first to say congratulations to you man you have one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart man.

Tragedy plus time isn't comedy,

Now then, the funeral party. In case you all aint noticed, the first three letters of the word funeral spells fun.

In arguing one should meet serious pleading with humor, and humor with serious pleading.