Quotes About Humor

The best way to make your audience laugh is to start laughing yourself.

The man recover'd of the bite,The dog it was that died.

Life at the greatest and best is but a froward child, that must be humored and coaxed a little till it falls asleep, and then all the care is over.

At this he laughed, and so did we: the jests of the rich are ever successful.

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't got the joke yet.

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a person of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment recall

A man visits a psychiatrist and tells him that his wife thinks she is a chicken. The psychiatrist asks why the man does not leave her, to which the man replies, 'I need the eggs.' That pretty much sums up all the marriages that I have ever known: each person needs the other's madness.

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.

People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism.

Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement.

I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't.

It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time.

The only weights I lift are my dogs.

When Camus's mother asked him what he wanted as a wedding gift, he replied, "A dozen pairs of white socks.

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

The same day I figured out the way to fight my insanity: ignore it. I taught myself to treat my madness the way you treat a crazy person you meet on the street-you humor him, nod your head, and move on. 'Move on'-these are the key words. Look and learn, I said to myself, a man goes out of his mind. He can leave it behind and move on. He can take that crazy mind of his and put it away, isolate it, and if possible tie it down-just as they do to crazy people themselves.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

On my tombstone, I want written, 'He never did 'Love Boat!

As long as I can make them laugh, it doesn't matter how, I'll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won't mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I must avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky.

As long as I can make them laugh, it doesn't matter how, I'll be all right. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won't mind it too much I remain outside their lives.

Before anyone realized it, I had become an accomplished clown

Every family," he jested, "has a fool—just to keep it in touch with reality.

Comprender los sentimientos de cualquier mujer es más complicado y desagradable que estudiar las emociones de una lombriz. Según mi experiencia, que viene de cuando era niño, cuando una mujer se pone a llorar de repente, lo mejor es ofrecerle algún dulce y enseguida mejora su humor.

Drinkers tend to say inane and obnoxious things when they're drunk, but most of them are in fact harmless, innocent souls like this.