Quotes About Humor

in this life, living, there is no dignity except perhaps in laughter.

If you can get humor and seriousness at the same time, you've created a special little thing, and that's what I'm looking for, because if you get pompous, you lose everything.

If there is a moral in this book, it is not my fault. If there is social relevance, it crept in without alerting me, in which case I would have hit it with a stick." (from preface to a later edition of the novel)

One night while we were sitting in front of our mirrors putting on our makeup, Peter walked up behind Ace and put his dick on his shoulder. Ace very nonchalantly turned to the side and gave it a kiss. So he became the chef, because he had to taste everything.

One night while we were sitting in front of our mirrors putting on our makeup, Peter walked up behind Ace and put his dick on his shoulder. Ace very nonchalantly turned to the side and gave it a kiss. So he became the chef, because he had to taste e

Randalf the Wise indeed!I've worn wiser pairs of underpants!

When I feel like exercising, I just lie down until the feeling goes away.

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

There was the blow-up sex doll in a deckchair on the front porch, with a cucumber in its mouth slot and a sign around its neck saying "I claim this house in the name of Satan".

Serious people have few ideas. People with ideas are never serious.

My mom's hot. I mean she's old, but my mom's out of control.

We fired pie filling. That was the Faroes. When they tried to board us, we hit them with forty-five gallon shots of custard and banana creme.

Alas! I have more hair on my shoulders then on my head.

From the top of Mount Everest "Next time I am taking the lift."

My friend Harry just sent me a toilet seat for my birthday. I am not sure what he is trying to tell me!

Normally, I name my characters after famous comedians.

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to.

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

You know, I am so sick of cuttin' on my television and everyone on it is obsessed with livin' forever. Well, I have a news flash: Ain't none of us gettin' out of her alive.

I'm throwing myself a birthday party next week," he said. "One of the many ways I'm whistling past the graveyard these days. I'll bet you're a grand whistler, aren't you? Please come." —

I'm drinking a Diet Coke, because frankly I ate a whole box of Pop Tarts yesterday and this will take it away.

The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it's more like a tired feeling, really.

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'