Quotes About Humor

The door opened. "We're here," said Mrs. Rogers. Aunt Myra came in. "Now!" said Amelia Bedelia. "Greetings, greetings, greetings," said the three children. "What's that about?" said Mrs. Rogers. "You said to greet Aunt Myra with Carols," said Amelia Bedelia. "Here's Carol Lee, Carol Green, and Carol Lake." "What lovely Carols," said Aunt Myra. "Thank you.

Laughter through tears: it's the Southern way.

Has any non-dipshit man ever used the word "ladies" not followed by the word "room"?

Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke] may not be worth the next guy's laugh.

we don't have a twenty-letter alphabet, we have a twenty-six-letter alphabet." And then I say, "Oh, I guess I left out U R A Q T!" And then you say, "That's still only twenty-five." And I say, "I'll give you the D later.

Lady Beckenham snorted and said there was nothing on God's earth as unrewarding as the human baby.

Celia, you sound like Mrs Bennett.' 'I hope not,' said Celia briskly, 'she was an excessively silly woman.

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

Did state troopers shift their pistols from hip to hip to avoid becoming lopsided?

You sound like a physicist," she said. "There's no need to be insulting.

It had a rear bumper sticker that read Legalize Recreational Plutonium.

The blind man is laughing at the bald head.

I think of Torg as a friend, a brother. My desire to punch Val in the head is more like a hobby.

This looks like a job for emergency pants!

And I really think it would be better if Mum stayed indoors while the moustache is in full bloom, as people are always making snide comments about that woman in the cake shop (to be honest, I made one or

tick, tick, woof? A dog marking homework.

Do you really think I'm here just to wave you goodbye as I sob into my hankie?' Before I could reply she added, 'And if you buy a ticket I'll shove it up your backside.

What does a monster eat after he's had his teeth out? The dentist.

There's a man at the gate, watching me. 'Have ya fallen and hurt yourself, or are ye just afraid of the cow?

Keep your sense of humor. There is a 50-50 chance the world can be saved. You- yes you- might be the grain of sand that tips the scales the right way.

All my relationships had been developed under the guise of my people-pleasing, funny guy persona, and in my current state there was not a joke anywhere to be found.

3. EMOTIONAL NURTURANCE: Meeting the child consistently with caring, regard and interest. Welcoming and valuing the child's full emotional expression. Modeling non-abusive expression of emotions. Teaching safe ways to release anger that do not hurt the child or others. Generous amounts of love, warmth, tenderness, and compassion. Honoring tears as a way of releasing hurt. Being a safe refuge. Humor.

Bleary-eyed one morning, with caffeine still missing from my system, I fumbled my way along the dusty path to the guest tents, calling out 'Good morning!' in as cheery a voice as the hour would allow (it was barely after five o'clock, and the sun had only just cracked the horizon). I heard a rhythmic thumping, getting rapidly louder, and I turned to find 1,600 pounds of pissed-off cow bearing down on me. Clearly it disagreed with my assessment of the morning.

It was the most ludicrous sound I had ever heard. The strangled gargling sounded like a goat that was having an unpleasant sexual encounter.