Quotes About Humor

For me, it would be very difficult to express an opinion about our times without humor. I don't think you could do that.

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

Understanding humor is like dissecting a live frog. It can be done, but the frog tends to die in the process.

If you want a lot of visual humor, the way to do it is have visual people do it.

Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn't pay for.

Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!

Even celebrities, most people have a sense of humor. Most of the people we meet who we've done on the show, like it.

If I weren't already dead, I'd have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave.

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you burn yourself out.

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.

Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

I think I do find humor in disorder, and reality is disorder.

I sometimes think humor and satire are more effective techniques for expressing social statements than direct comment.

I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?"

I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

If you don't have a sense of humor, you'll hurt yourself arguing with me.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.