Quotes About Humor

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Donald Trump's humor is hostile to a fault.

You know, in the suburbs, most people believe in gravity, but they don't have much of a sense of humor.

And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

There are two insults which no human being will endure: The assertion that he hasn't a sense of humor, and the doubly impertinent assertion that he has never known trouble.

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.

If I sit for a while, then my impatience, crossness, frustration, are indeed annihilated, and my sense of humor returns.

I get my sense of humor from my parents. That's why they don't have one anymore.

There are people that say you should never use humor to talk about anything that's important or hard, and since I don't believe that, at some point there has to be a level of "agree to disagree."

I think humor is like a shield that lets you get as close to the sad sad flame as possible - far closer, oftentimes, than drama.

No charm, no humor, no wit -- and a personality which can only be described as 'icky.' .

I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.

I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?

My father said, "Okay, enough with the Jewish school." He put me into a public school and he said, "If you are the first one in your class, that means the school is bad." That was his humor.

Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950's. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.

Seriously, who curses you with their dying breath and says, I hope your eye twitches!

Jace suggested that the cast of "Gilligan's Island" could go do something anatomically unlikely with themselves.

Rule number 2 - don't listen to me!" Arriane laughed, "I'm certifiably insane!