Quotes About Humor

There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden's brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.

You might as well laugh at yourself, everyone else is.

Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes...

He didn't know what was hotter, her Star Wars reference or the breathiness with which she spoke it.

My main regret in life is that there is no MacArthur Fellowship awarded in the field of Panda Satire.

Is she always like this?" "No, usually worse.

When people ask how old I am, I just tell them twenty-one, and if they assume I mean years instead of decades or centuries, then that can't be my fault, can it?

There is never a bad joke, it's adressing to a wrong audience that makes it look bad!

My partner and I were going to renew our vowels, but the consonants revolted.

What happened when the Verb asked the noun to conjugate? She said "no-no!", forgot the "o" and decided to become a nun!

If You Lose Your Keys, At Least It's Better Than Losing Your Car.

If this is where you ask me to run around in my birthday suit, I'm not entirely comfortable with that, " I said, smirking.

I once told him that the best way to break up a fight is to step between the two people and start singing ancient folk songs. But I'd never heard of anyone actually doing such a thing.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a a note on it saying, toys not included.

I wrote a book on cats. In retrospect, I should have used paper, cause chapter six got hit by a car.

I'm poor and my cat is huge.

What's my favorite part that I've written? That's like asking me to choose which of my kids is least ugly!

It's not cold in here, you're just dying.

Humor is the salvation of those without hope.

Comedy Born :) When Tragedy Happens :(

Yes, " he said sincerely. "Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants.

It's like smoking compost through a raccoon.

Watch it, loincloth, I'm not afraid to spork your eyes out.

if you can't make a joke at a time like this, what's the point of living?