Quotes About Humor

Wisdom of the Ages: Do the aliens on the moon pull down their pants and 'earth' their friends for fun?

It was the kind of storm that suggests the whole sky has swallowed a diuretic.

Xavier, you have given me more grey hairs than all my sons put together.' Saul frowned, then corrected himself. 'To be fair, you and Zed. Just try not to add to them tonight.

Gorgeous, " he murmured.She chuckled. "Think you'l say that in five months or so? When I waddle like a duck and you have to tie my shoes for me?""I'l say it then and forever.

What life is to humor, humor is to life.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, " Ferbus said too loudly. "Then it's one-eyed fun.

Hark, " he said, his tone very dry. "What stone through yonder window breaks?"Kami yelled up at him, "It is the east, and Juliet is a jerk!

'Not drinking?' Collin asked coolly. 'I only drink the blood of virgins, ' Logan quipped. 'You must be dehydrated then.' A slow smile spread over Logan's face. 'A sense of humor... rare in a Templar.'

... had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention.

There's my baby!" I cried, quite carried away, "There's my poochiekins!"..."Sadie, " My dad said firmly, "Please do not refer to the devourer of souls as 'poochiekins'.

The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor with adult content.

Are you sure you weren't adopted?""Mom would like to think so, but it was a natural birth, so her memory's real clear.

Sure. If she gets mugged, she can just flute them to death.

Mia, ' she whispered. I turned around. 'What?' I whispered back.She smiled at me a little. 'LEEERRROOOY JEEENNKKIINNNSS!' she shouted, then spun around and ran toward the Z's in the lighting section.

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.

All right, I'll wait another two thousand years to make jokes about my evilness.

MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.

Taking a dump...blackout

You've already said you were going to kill me, " Alex said, "but I didn't think that meant you were going to bore me to death.

Snark is a fabulous defense mechanism.

Wit, after all, is the unfailing symptom of intelligence.

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

Have any sheep been seen walking out of the Library with seagoing adventurers clinging to their wool?

There is a tremendous amount of farting in prison.