Quotes About Humor

anyway. Leo said, I hope you've got your worksheet, 'cause I used mine for spit wads days ago. Why are you looking at me like that? Somebody draw on my face again?

I was wishing I'd bought some of that Camp Half Blood orange thermal underwear... ?!?!

Well, yes, I call it the Expando-Duck. It's perfect if you need a small metal duck. Or a larger metal duck.

I whistled. You have evil thoughts for a goat.

If you look at it from any other side, it looks like a pile of enormous deer droppings, but Chiron wouldn't let us call the place the Poop Pile, especially after it had been named for Zeus, who doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

You kidding? So many preservatives in these things, I'll live forever.

Question (from a reader) : Will the Wise Goddess Athena overthrow Zeus and become the ruler of Olympus? Athena's answer : What an interesting idea . . . No, just kidding, Dad. Put away the lightning bolt.

Percy looked at his friends. "I'm getting tired of this guy's shirt.

I imagined she was going to say, You killed a Minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that. Instead she said, You drool when you sleep.

All [Sadie's] previous attempts [of making a shabti (an Egyptian avatar of one's self)] had exploded or gone haywire, terrorizing Khufu and the initiates. Last week she'd created a magical Thermos with googly eyes that levitated around the room, yelling, "Exterminate! Exterminate!" until it smacked me in the head.

Then something occurred to me. Get closer, I told Blackjack. He whinnied in protest. Just within shouting distance, I said. I need to talk to the statue. Now I'm sure you've lost it, boss, Blackjack said

Julius told me how much you'd grown, but I couldn't believe it. Carter, I bet you're shaving—" "Mom." "—and dating girls—" "Mom!" Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?

Coach Hedge shouted, 'Let the movie star go, you big ugly cupcake! Or I'm gonna plant my hoof right up your...

the answer to every problem involved penguins

June cackled with delight, muttering, Whoops! as a car almost killed them.

I'M PRETTY GOOD at multitasking, so I figured I could flee in terror and argue at the same time.

I turned to Alex. 'Hey, are you female today?' 'Hold on... There! Now I'm female.' My expression must have been priceless. Alex burst out laughing. 'I'm kidding. Yes, I'm female today. She and her.

If my mom told one more story about how cute I looked in the bathtub when I was three years old I was going to burrow into the snow and freeze myself to death.

Just because I'm Native American doesn't mean I can track furniture through the wilderness." She deepened her voice: "'Yes, kemosabe. A three-legged table passed this way an hour ago.' Heck, I don't know.

The thing about talking swords…it's hard to tell when they're kidding. They have no facial expressions. Or faces.

You're already married! Hera protested. To me! Curses! said Zeus. Er, I mean, of course, dear.

We're burning," Sadie pointed out helpfully. "Noticed!" I yelled back.

Oh, god," I said. "Sorry, sorry. Do I die now?" --Sadie to Zia

We only came close to dying six or seven times which I thought was pretty good. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately that something was my face.