Quotes About Humor

Paul patted Mrs. O'Leary's snout. The living room shook —BOOM, BOOM, BOOM—which either meant a SWAT team was breaking down the door or Mrs. O'Leary was wagging her tail. I couldn't help but smile.

Contrary to what you might think, I don't spend every waking hour thinking about boys. Just most waking hours?

Hey girl, he said, wiggling his eyebrows. You must be the riptide, 'cause you sweep me off my feet. He'd be practicing that pickup line for years. He was glad he finally got yo use it.

Dan was thrilled that the second clue had been safely smuggled out of the church in his pants. So, really, I saved the day, he decided. Wait a minute, Amy said, I climbed onto the roof in the middle of a thunderstorm. Yeah, but the clue was in my pants.

If I ever become a king, I'm totally going to ask him for an army of giant golden acid-spitting llamas. Okay, sorry. I got distracted again.

It doesn't matter! From waist down, my best friend is a donkey.....

Set screamed something in Ancient Egyptian. I was fairly sure it wasn't a compliment. "I will rend your limbs from their sockets!" he shouted. "I will—" "Die?" Carter suggested.

One guy wore nothing but a Speedo. He'd painted himself blue and was armed only with a baseball bat. Across his chest were the words COME AT ME, BRO.

Your lifeline...oh, the burning stick. Right. Leo resisted the urge to set his hand ablaze and yell: BWAH HA HA!

Right." Sadie looked dazed. "You've got a monkey butler. Why not?

You think it's okay that we're eating Rudolph? Dude, Percy said, I could eat Prancer and Blitzen, too. I'm HUNGRY.

And flash him!" Annabeth's face reddened. "That came out wrong. But yeah, good idea.

Oh, obviously," Reyna said. "Without you, I doubt Percy could find his way out of a paper bag." "True," Annabeth agreed.

Sacred Sibyl!" I cried. "Madam, there is something wrong with your midsection!" The woman stopped, mystified, and looked down at her hugely swollen belly. "Well, I'm seven months pregnant.

That's Narmer with the spoon," I guessed. "Angry because the other bloke stole his breakfast cereal?

He is funny," a nymph ventured. "And cute, in a scrawny way," another said. "Scrawny?" Leo asked. "Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot . And I GOT the scrawny. Narcissus? He's such a loser even the Underworld didn't want him. He couldn't get the ghost girls to date him." "Eww," said a nymph. "Eww!" Echo agreed.

Grover started to sniffle and I figured if I didn't cheer him up he'd either start bawling or chewing up my mattress. He tends to eat household objects whenever he gets upset.

What the creeping crud is that? [Percy] demanded. You're inside a giant glowing chicken-man! Hawk! I yelled. I decided that if I survived this day I would have to make sure this guy never met Sadie. They'd probably take turns insulting me for the rest of eternity.

I TOLD MY NEW FRIENDS I was allergic to dismemberment. They just laughed and herded me toward the combat arena. This is why I don't like making new friends.

Well, said Apollo with a brave smile. You were right, my dear. You had everything under control! Let's go see if we boiled anyone important, shall we?

Congratulations, man. What's her name? Estelle. It was my grandmother's name. Um, on my mom's side, obviously. Not Poseidon's. I approve, Alex said. Old-fashioned and elegant. Estelle Jackson. Well, Estelle Blofis , Percy corrected. My stepdad is Paul Blofis. Not much I can do about that surname, but my little sis is awesome. Five fingers. Five toes. Two eyes. She drools a lot. Just like her brother, Annabeth said. Alex laughed.

I still don't get it Coach Hedge muttered as they roamed the centre aisle. They named a whole town after Leo's table? I think the town was here first, Coach Nico said.

G.I. Joe boxers!' Apollo screamed. 'OH—oh, I can't even... HAHAHAHAHA!' 'Aphrodite,' Athena giggled. 'You look simply lovely.' The gods couldn't stop laughing. Soon they were rolling on the floor, wiping tears from their eyes, taking photos with their phones to post on Tumblr.

Hello!" The girl in the blood-red dress beamed at Leo. "Are you Dionysus?" There was only one answer to that. "Yes!" Leo yelped. "Absolutely. I am Dionysus.