Quotes About Humor

You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the girl of confidence. Either that or a scented candle.

Just kidding' was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word of it.

You're gorgeous, you old hag. If I would give you anything in this world it would be this. Confidence. Either that or a scented candle.

Absurdly, I punched it because nothing hurts a jellyfish more, nothing affronts their sense of dignity, than an underwater punch in the face.

That line again. For Ian, a joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hands like a cheap umbrella.

Clearly the key to having a long and successful marriage would be to have a non-lethal heart attack every three months or so

Emma está cansada de gritar de entusiasmo al ver gatear a un bebé, como si lo de gatear fuese una novedad completamente inesperada. ¿Qué esperaban, que volase?

Well I've fucked the olives. Not literally I might hasten to add!

Maybe that's just what happens; you start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few jokes.

tinnitus of mirth

Just kidding' was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word.

You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle

Oh you know me. I have no emotions. I'm a robot. Or a nun. A robot nun.

Call me sentimental, but there's no-one in the world that I'd like to see get dysentery more than you

Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.

The hallmarks of a potentially successful copywriter include: Obsessive curiosity about products, people and advertising. A sense of humor. A habit of hard work. The ability to write interesting prose for printed media, and natural dialogue for television. The ability to think visually. Television commercials depend more on pictures than words. The ambition to write better campaigns than anyone has ever written before.

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor.

If you don't display a little more grace, I'm going to smear butter all over your face!

Okay, Eliza. Now–you know–rise up! Think about those buffalos," Abby said. "Walking backward," added Ben. "Wearing diapers!" Ricky reminded her, giggling with glee. "I know how to do it!" Eliza snapped.

If god created man in his own image, how come I'm not invisible?

People in south China will eat everything that flies in the sky, except an airplane.

What would you call an insect with a lot of answers? A consult-ant!

699. What did the census supervisor say to the employee who went on an unauthorized vacation? "Have you taken leave of your census?" 700. What would you call scalp exercises to prevent baldness? Hairobics!

I am going to the bad place, as is my wont.