Quotes About Humor

There are no jokes in Woke World. Or, rather, the whole thing is a joke, which means nothing is funny anymore. You need something to be serious before there can be room for laughter. Nothing is serious in Woke World.

I asked my ex-girlfriend, "Do you think we'll get back together?" She said, "I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car."

The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

It's funny because it's funny.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.

I used to have a theory actually that, if you've had a good childhood, a good marriage and a little bit of money in the bank, you're going to make a lousy comedian.

When I started, you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect.

I don't really dissect comedy. Nothing kills off humor more than overanalyzing it.

You'd better find a way to laugh at life, because it will certainly make you cry.

I must admit I hadn't realized my knees were so sexy.

We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.

My name is Mr Bread." He began writing his name neatly on the board. "But you can call me Peter." Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred. "Pita Bread!" proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the back.

The Frog Prince The princess kisses the frog and contracts a waterborne disease that makes her bottom explode.

David Walliams

Walliamsictionary.

an enormous stately home. Mr Spud named it 'Freshbum Towers'.

But as ever in life, wherever there is tragedy, you can often find comedy.

At London Zoo, a girl leaped over the wall at the penguin enclosure. She thought that by tugging her pullover over her head, waddling and catching a fish in her mouth she could pass herself off as a penguin.

One Christmas on a school outing to see the local pantomime two pupils stole the pantomime horse costume. They were only found out when several months later they attempted to enter the Grand National.

David Walliams

Technically speaking, that means there was a lot of wee and poo in it.)

Granny driving, Ben clinging on behind her.

David Walliams