Quotes About Humor

I had woven a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

Semicolon, you dolt!

I fell in love with Caligula and now I'm married to Calvin.

Can we go now, or should we load up Banjo and one of the cows?" he said. "Or the hen that lays double-yolked eggs?

She'd permed her hair to within an inch of its life. When she moved her head, the mass of hair followed along behind her a split second later." Perhaps you had to live through the late 70's, early 80's to appreciate this.

You know, your family's exactly like I imagined them. Exactly like you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You're like the blackbirds. The blondbirds." "Very funny." "They're very nice. You always talk like they're Norwegian hillbillies or something.

You never knew when condoms might come in handy . . . you could blow them up like balloons and tie messages to them, or fill them with water, or roll them on to your fingers and use them as fingerstalls. He didn't really foresee any possibility of their being put to the purpose for which they were intended.

it's dreadful when two people's senses of humor are antagonistic. I don't believe there's any bridging that gulf!

Qué graciosos son los hombres! Cuando quieren hacernos un cumplido dicen que tenemos una mentalidad masculina.

Os homens não são engraçados? Quando querem lhe fazer o maior elogio, ingenuamente dizem que você tem uma mente masculina.

Thank heaven I don't inherit God from anybody! I am free to make mine up as I wish Him. He's kind and sympathetic and imaginative and forgiving and understanding - and He has a sense of humor.

some reason the French love to laugh at Belgians. Belgian jokes are like Newfie jokes in Canada or Vermont jokes in New England (we can testify that the same cookie-cutter stories circulate freely between languages).

Much slower, I turned around to see Vlad examining his fingernails, as if his hands weren't still ablaze in the flames that had blasted the ghoul's head off moments before. 'what the hell was that?' I gasped. 'Premature inflammation,' He replied. 'Happens sometimes. Very embarrassing, I don't like to talk about it.'

Juan gave Bones the most admiring look he'd bestowed on him yet. You talked her into going without panties all these years? Madre de Dios, now that's impressive. I could learn a great deal from you, amigo.

Is that a stake, Bones, or are you just happy with my new dress?" In this case, it's a stake. You could always feel around for something more, though. See what comes up.

Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha!

Why don't I just give you a pair of my panties to hang around your neck? Then whenever you feel jealous, you can wave them at whoever's pissing you off.

Movies with interfering in-laws and kids are often presented as comic, the ridicule bringing welcome relief to beleaguered married folks suffering offscreen at the hands of relatives.

Patricia: Do you know William Faulkner? Michel: No. Who's he? Have you slept with him?

Mrs. Tifton had cut off Jane's ha-ha-ha before it even began. Lydia thought this was probably a good thing.

and this was absolutely, totally true—that she could have Pearson, because I don't want him, and besides, I'd already told him to go soak his head, so I was sure he didn't like me anymore. And then she thanked me over and over, and so I hugged her to get her to shut up." "That was very kind of you," said Mr. Penderwick when it was clear that she was done. He sounded like he was choking.

Never," he said, laughing.

You know me. I've got a warped sense of humor at the worst times.

Laughter helps us view frustrations and disappointments from new perspectives; it enables us to survive hard times, setbacks, and frustrations.