Quotes About Humor

One of the real ways out of conflict is humour. It builds bridges; it's a weapon against rigid ideology, narrow thinking, intolerance.

But the worst feeling as a crowd work practitioner is that not only is crowd work, for me, the most fun thing to do on stage - I always say the less written jokes I tell in a set the more fun I was having--but it's also a secret weapon.

I'm tall, fat, rather bald, red-faced, double-chinned, black-haired, have a deep voice, and wear glasses for reading.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.

Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

I love a man who can wear my underwear.

They may have turned this up, whether you had the Paula Jones case or not. But again maybe not, but again that's like if a frog had side pockets he'd probably wear a handgun.

I dress like a boy most of the time because I like what's comfortable, so sometimes when I have to wear dresses and makeup, it's kind of comedic. I take lots of pictures on my cell phone: 'Look, I'm dressed like a girl! Surprise!'

If I ever see Miss Rihanna wear my sunglasses, I would probably die.

There was a time where I knew I was as funny as many dudes, but I had people telling me, 'You have to wear a dress onstage. You need to be more feminine.'

Every time I do a play, I'm like, 'When do I get to do the one where I wear a gown, sit in a chair, and say funny things?' I'd love to do that.

But the thing is, Chansung and I don't wear any clothing when we sleep.

'Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid' was my favorite of all the things I ever did, because it was like doing a Sunday crossword puzzle and beating it.

Robert Kirkman can't bear it when I wear flip-flops. He takes pictures of my flip-flops and keeps sending them to me, like, 'What are you doing? Rick Grimes is not a flip-flop kind of guy.'

I would wear one of those plastic pocket protectors, but they make you look like a Republican.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

Old is when people compliment your alligator shoes, and you're not wearing any.

I'm wearing a garbage bag. I was put on my own worst-dressed list.

I remember somewhere in his 70s, my dad started wearing a nightgown - like an old-school grandpa gown! I can see how that might be somewhere in my future.

When you're doing sketch comedy and you're pregnant, it's like wearing a giant sombrero in every sketch.

I had several turtles before they were in. People seemed to think they were funny. Now everyone is wearing them practically every place. I think that's real fine, but I don't agree they should go to a formal affair. Turtlenecks with dinner jackets seem ridiculous to me.

They asked me why I was wearing heels, and I said, I'm trying to hide my ass. They gave me a prosthetic behind.

When I was about 12 and first started wearing lipstick, my dad would ask, 'Are you wearing makeup?' I would say back, 'You're wearing more makeup there than I am!'