Quotes About Humor

People tend to be surprised when they realise I'm only 5ft 6in. Now I tell them on my website. I think you have to point out your own deficiencies if you're emphasising everyone else's for a living.

Expand the definition of 'reading' to include non-fiction, humor, graphic novels, magazines, action adventure, and, yes, even websites. It's the pleasure of reading that counts; the focus will naturally broaden. A boy won't read shark books forever.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

My sister really drooled a lot when she was younger. For her wedding, I was going to get her one of those lace drool cups that go around the ears.

There was a thing on Facebook that said, 'Describe George Clooney's wedding in three words,' and my answer was, 'Not invited again.'

The day of the wedding went like these things generally do, full of anxious moments interspersed with black comedy.

Neither my fiance nor I take ourselves too seriously, and we want our wedding to reflect our lightheartedness.

If you had asked me when I was 28 and in my wedding dress if I ever thought I would end up in my forties flipping my husband the bird over potato chips, I'd say you were crazy.

Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'

I've always had a very dry sense of humor, and I've pretty much grown up on Will Ferrell, first on 'Saturday Night Live,' then 'Old School' and 'Wedding Crashers.'

'Veerey Ki Wedding' is a comedy of errors in more ways than one. It's one of those basic, perky comedies. We're not trying to give out a message or anything.

The key to a happy marriage is myself being absent for long periods of time. My wife Leesa and I will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary next year, but if my comedy gigs petered out and I was around the house more, we'd 100% be getting divorced.

My poor wife, we stopped on the way back to the suite after our wedding reception so I could pick up a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. I mean, I'm not a real exciting guy.

We sit in a room, laugh, and all come up with comedy situations, which we work out. Sometimes we cross the line, like getting a guy to pull out of his own wedding while the ceremony's taking place.

I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings.

I started doing standup because of Hugh Grant's best-man speech in 'Four Weddings,' which is basically a standup routine.

'Four Weddings and a Funeral' is one of my favorite movies, and I laugh all the time, and I cry during the one funeral. But I'll say that 'Monsters, Inc.' is a movie that really gets me super-emotional. Especially the ending.

Using humor as a wedge into different kinds of stories is my go-to. I think anything I do would have some sort of streak of humor in it.

I ate an entire wedge of 'brie' before I realized it was butter.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm just a wee, chubby boy that happens to sing songs.

I still enjoy a wee game of poker now and then, but I'm not very good, and being Scottish, I don't like to lose that much money!