Quotes About Humor

Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?

With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.

I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.

A sense of humour and a little lack of respect: That's what you need to make a legend survive.

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

I don't get no respect

It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.

While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.

Of course my jokes are in poor taste, inappropriate, and confused; they reveal my lack of security. But that is because I have no respect for myself.

In high school, when I played football I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop.

Man learns more readily and remembers more willingly what excites his ridicule than what deserves esteem and respect.

It would be great to be able to follow in the footsteps of Bill Murray. I really respect his ability as a comedian, obviously, but even more so as an actor.

Even for those to whom life and death are equal jests. There are some things that are still held in respect.

When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.

With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.

Clowns have no respect for pie.

If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be.

PowerPoint is the Rodney Dangerfield of software. It gets no respect.

You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was-like eating an egg without salt.

I'm a very loyal boyfriend. I'm a bit of a joker I can be romantic, but not too sickly.